Girl Trouble Shooting Draft
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Girl Trouble
Episode #5
Production #V0805
Written by: Adam Armus and Nora Kay Foster
Directed by: Charlie Haskell
Production Draft - April 07, 1998
Full Script - April 08, 1998
Pages 3-4, 7-9, 14, 16, 21-21A - April 24, 1998
Pages 2, 2aA, 5, 6, 7, 15 - May 02, 1998
Page 14 - May 07, 1998
Pacific Island Pictures, LTD, All Rights Reserved © 1998
Cast List
Hercules
Jason
Iolaus - (ee-OH-lus)
Cheiron - (KI-ron)
Lilith
Cyane - (si-AN)
Zared - (ZAIR-ed)
Traitor
Messenger (Arcus)
Simula
Crewman
Set List
Interiors:
Cheiron's Academy - Dining Hall
Ship - Cargo Hold
Exteriors:
Ship
Cheiron's Academy - Dining Hall
Ship - Deck
Crossroads in Athens
FADE IN:
EXT. SHIP (AT SEA) - DAY
On deck, well-armed Crewmen drag a worried-looking TRAITOR towards their leader, a dangerous-looking man, ZARED.
No one double-crosses me! (then, to the Crewmen) Throw him in the hold!
The Traitor's eyes widen in horror. He struggles.
Please, Zared. No-oo-oo!
The Crewmen unlock the CARGO HOLD DOOR and toss him in! There is a FEROCIOUS GROWL. The Traitor CRIES OUT. The Crewmen look on in horror, but Zared enjoys every minute.
Looks like our cargo won't be needing dinner tonight.
Off Zared's maniacal laughter,
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - DINING HALL - DAY
ON A STEAMING PLATE OF FOOD, untouched.
WIDEN to HERCULES and JASON, long-faced, staring down at their food, neither on brave enough to dig in.
What is it?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Jason sniffs the food: he's disgusted.
That's it. I'm going on a hunger strike.
INCLUDE IOLAUS, scarfing his food down. Jason can't believe his eyes. Iolaus stops long enough to notice Jason's plate.
Not gonna eat that?
Without waiting for an answer, Iolaus grabs Jason's plate and digs in. As he chews:
(to Jason)
Bad time for a hunger strike, with the Harvest Festival coming up.
All you can eat, all weekend long? No, thanks.
Relax, Jason. Cheiron promised us a new cook, remember?
Just then, a beautiful YOUNG WOMAN enters. All eyes turn to her. Iolaus bites down on an empty fork.
Hey! There she is.
A babe who can cook?!
I've died and gone to the Elysian Fields!
The Young Woman moves through the dining hall and out the other side, never pausing. The boys scramble to their feet and strain to watch her, jostling for the best view.
I saw her first.
You were busy stuffing your face!
(picking up a plate)
Oh yeah? I'll show you what it means to stuff your face.
I'd like to see you try...
Iolaus! Jason! Are we gonna let a beautiful woman come between us?
Iolaus and Jason consider for a beat, then:
Yes!
They start for each other angain; Herc steps between them.
Gentlemen, there's only one way to settle this.
EXT. DINING HALL - MOMENTS LATER
OTHER CADETS surround Hercules, Jason, and Iolaus. A soccer ball-sized BALL lies at Iolaus' feet. He calls his shot.
Off the trees, through the window, under the wagon, across the roof... center of the goal.
Iolaus gestures to a DISTANT FISHING NET draped across two posts. Herc and Jason are incredulous.
No way. It'll never happen.
With that, Iolaus kicks the ball in the air. Our heroes watch in SLO-MO as it SAILS high in the air. But before it can reach its target, a MESSENGER steps out of a doorway into its path:
Heads up!
Too late. Everyone cringes as the ball conks the Messenger.
Ooof!
The CADETS surround the downed Messenger as Herc tends to him.
He's out cold. Somebody get water.
Nice work, Iolaus.
Hey, it wasn't my fault. The guy stepped right into it.
A few n/d CADETS comfort the Messenger as Herc speaks to him:
How you feeling, buddy?
Never mind that. We've got to get this guy on feet before Cheiron finds out.
During the following, Cheiron steps in quietly behind Iolaus. Herc and Jason try to get his attention, to no avail.
I mean, the last thin we need is Mr. Pearls of Wisdom breathing down our... (finally realizing) He's right behind me, isn't me?
Herc and Jason nod. Iolaus buries his head in his hands. Cheiron gives Iolaus a dirty look, than helps the Messenger to his feet:
You all right, Arcus?
Yeah, Sure. No problem.
He staggers, then falls. Cheiron looks at the boys, not happy.
It seems I've lost a messenger. Or perhaps I've gained three. You boys are going to Athens.
Athens? What's in Athens?
A new cook.
But... We thought... I mean... If Arcus was getting the cook... (pointing to the nearby Young Woman) Then, who's she?
I'm Lilith.
Gentlemen, meet our newest cadet.
But... but she's a...
Yes?!
...going to fit in just fine.
Lilith bends and touches the woozy, moaning messenger's forehead.
Do you cadets always use messengers for target practice?
Iolaus, Herc and Jason look at each other, frown and shrug.
(all at once)
Us? No. Well. Not always. Not really. (etc.)
Cheiron gives the Messenger's scroll to Hercules. Iolaus notes the SMALL SCROLL, then slaps Herc and Jason on their backs.
Well, no need for ALL of us to miss the Harvest Festival.
Iolaus turns, only to be stopped by the mountainous figure of Cheiron. He looks up into Cheiron and Lilith's glares, then, meekly:
(guesturing back)
We were just... leaving.
Iolaus quickly rejoins Herc and Jason; as we:
FADE OUT.
