Between Friends Transcript (Dialogue Only)

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TEASER

Narrator: "Previously on 'Young Hercules'."

Strife: "I'm Strife. I'm bad."

Ares: "Destroy a mortal son of Zeus."

Strife: "You mean Hercules."

Hercules: "What's your name?"

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Ny-- Nysus Gaius."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "He used to tell me about this place near the academy? In a cave-- up on the mountain."

Hercules: "What cave?"

Strife as Nysus Gaius's Voice: "They've got a chalice there, made by Zeus himself."

Ares's Voice: "Is my dear brother hooked?"

Strife's Voice: "Like a little fish, Uncle - waiting for Hera to fry."

Narrator: "Now, on 'Young Hercules'."

Custodian: [Screams]

Iolaus: "Ooh! [Yells]

Iolaus: "A little help here!"

Jason: "Look before you leap, Iolaus."

Jason: "You're welcome!"

Iolaus: "I was gonna say thanks!"

Jason: "Let's break his fall."

Iolaus: "Go!"

Iolaus: "OK. Uh-- this way."

Jason: "Uh, no, it's this way!"

Iolaus: "No, it's this way!"

Jason: "It's this way!"

Iolaus: "I"m telling you; it's this way!"

Hercules: "Over here!"

Iolaus andJason: "That way."

Jason: "I told you it was that way."

Iolaus: [Incomprehensible-- "Look out."]

Hercules: "Perfect."

Act One

Cheiron: "These'll take the stiffness out of that shoulder. You were lucky, Hercules. But the warrior that depends on luck is a fool."

Hercules: "I understand that this won't change anything, but-- the last thing that I want to do is bring harm to this academy."

Cheiron: "Selfish desires often mask themselves as good intentions."

Hercules: "Uh-- I thought I knew what I was getting into. Now, I'm not so sure."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Your little bro is tougher than I thought. He's one bad dude. Takes after his daddy. Chip off the old Zeus. You know-- "

Ares: [Interrupting] "Don't speak. Don't-- don't speak. We'll soften him up where's he's weakest-- his pathetic mortal feelings."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: [Makes growling sound]

Iolaus: "You know-- "

Fiducius: "You are the only one."

Iolaus: "I was gonna pay."

Fiducius: "Get the money by the end of the week, or you're out of here."

Iolaus: "Uh, fine! Fine."

Jason: "What'd Fiducius want?"

Iolaus: "What's a dinar-counter like him always want? The academy fees."

Jason: "Iolaus-- if you're a little short-- "

Iolaus: "Ah, nah, nah. I've-- I got it covered. So, are we gonna practice, or what?"

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Practice what? Oh."

Iolaus: "OK. [Chuckles] Now remember-- what old four-legs says: 'Balance-- '

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Ah! Ooh."

Iolaus: "I'm sorry-- '-- is the key.' Don't think about where you're stepping. Just feel the pole. It's nothing. I've seen Herc do it blindfolded."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Oh, really? Everybody's sayin' he's always showing off! I'll betcha that's why he got you involved in that bird thing! Stealing Hera's chalice-- "

Iolaus: "Hera? Ah!"

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Gotcha! Score one for Nysus! I can't believe-- Hercules didn't tell you the chalice belonged to Hera. She can be so nasty."

Jason: "I guess he forgot to mention it."

Iolaus: "Yeah, right-- like Hera could just slip anyone's mind."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Think fast! Uh-- nice move, Iolaus."

Iolaus: "Yeah."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Didn't see that one comin'."

Iolaus: "Ah, you were doin' OK-- for a second."

Hercules: "Hey, Iolaus-- finally find someone who hasn't seen all your, uh-- special moves, huh? Iolaus? What's your problem?"

Iolaus: "Me? W-- well I-- I don't have a problem. I'm not the one keeping secrets from my friends."

Hercules: "What're ya talkin' about?"

Jason: "He means, 'Why didn't you tell us the chalice in the cave belonged to Hera?'"

Hercules: "I didn't think she'd miss some stupid old cup, OK? That's why."

Iolaus: "Well-- maybe we'd have tried to stop you, maybe not-- but you should 'a told us."

Hercules: "You're right. I'm sorry."

Cheiron's Voice: "Pair drills!"

Cheiron: "Pick a partner. Warriors must learn to fight back-to-back-- depend on your comrade as he depends on you."

Hercules: "Listen, let's talk about this later, OK? Partners?"

Iolaus: "Well, I'm not sure I can trust you."

Voices: "That guy from-- " "What a rules freak."

Kora: "Kitchen's closing. Anything else?"

Iolaus: "Uh-- how about a-- slow walk in the moonlight-- you-- me-- the stars?"

Kora: "Alone, Iolaus-- with you?"

Iolaus: "Uh, uh-- sure."

Kora: "OK. Sneak into the academy barn-- crawl into the hayloft. Close your eyes-- and dream on."

Iolaus: "I don't get it! What is her problem?"

Jason: "She has good taste."

Iolaus: "Uh-- so, what's my share?"

Jason: "Ah, don't worry about it. I got it."

Iolaus: "Ah, thank you, Jason. I owe you one. Huh?"

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Nice guy."

Iolaus: "Mmm."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "I betcha he had everything he could want-- big-time money-- family. He can't know what it's like to struggle to get by like-- well, like you and me."

Kora: "And there-- that's alone-- "

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "And a-- girl like Kora-- is only impressed by one thing-- money. Check how she looks at Jason."

Iolaus: "Ah-- they're just talkin'."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "I may be outta line here, but, uh-- if you were a girl-- who would you go with-- the future king of Corinth-- or-- a guy like you? See ya back at the academy."

Iolaus: "Mmm."

Jason: "Where's the old Iolaus smile, huh?"

Iolaus: "Why would you care?"

Jason: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Iolaus: "All my life, I've had to fight for everything-- you know? And you-- you've-- just had it handed to you."

Jason: "What's your problem? You think I've had it easy?"

Iolaus: "No, no-- I bet attending those royal banquets is-- really tough. Ah, great! My money pouch is gone!"

Jason: "Maybe I'll see you back at the academy."

Strife: "Hmm."

Kora: "Leonidas! That better not be my new Thessalian platters."

Leonidas: "Sorry."

Kora: "Oh-- how hard can it be to carry dishes?"

Iolaus: "Hmm-- you're not much-- but you're all I got."

Act Two

Fiducius: "Well, Iolaus-- I didn't expect to see you today. What's your excuse this time?"

Iolaus: "Uh, there's no excuse. I've come to pay my academy fees."

Jason: "What'd he say?"

Tarsus: "Cheiron!"

Cheiron: "Constable Tarsus."

Tarsus: "This-- is official business, Cheiron. Two of your cadets were seen leaving Kora's inn last night-- about the time it was robbed."

Cheiron: "We have nothing to hide. Truth is our greatest weapon."

Jason: "Iolaus and I were the last ones to leave the inn. I'm Jason of Corinth."

Tarsus: "The young prince-- I-I've heard about you. Well then-- if you and your friend left the inn together-- then someone else must be the thief."

Iolaus's Voice: "Uh-- "

Iolaus: "W-w-well-- I went back to the inn, to get my money pouch. I, uh-- I dropped it at our table."

Tarsus: "And helped yourself to some coins to put in it!"

Iolaus: "Oh-- no, no-- I saw the money on the counter-- but I didn't take it. I don't have any money."

Fiducius: "You had enough to pay your fees."

Iolaus: "I borrowed that money from Nysus."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Wh-wh-- from me? I-- Iolaus-- you know I don't have that kind of money."

Iolaus: "Nysus, come on-- this is no time to joke around. I'm on probation here! They'll bury me!"

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "I'd love to help you out, but-- I don't know what to say."

Tarsus: "There's one way to find out who's telling the truth. Search their rooms!"

Tarsus: "Is this your pouch?!"

Iolaus: "Well, yeah, it's mine-- but it was empty when I put it in there."

Tarsus: "Take him away!"

Iolaus: "What? Chei-Cheiron!"

Cheiron: "Be patient. Let justice run its course."

Iolaus: "Look-- Hercules!"

Hercules: "Iolaus!"

Cheiron: "Wait."

Hercules: "Cheiron-- listen, I've known Iolaus my whole life. He's a lot of things, but a liar he's not."

Cheiron: "Then both of you must work to find the truth."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: [Giggles]

Man's Voice: "Lights out, cadets!"

Jason: "Shh-- quiet, Hercules. You'll wake everybody up. Did you put the money back?"

Hercules: "Yeah. Thanks for the loan, Jason. I hid it at Kora's and when she finds it, she'll just think that she misplaced it."

Jason: "Right, right-- they can't convict Iolaus if no money's missing."

Hercules: "Yeah."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Too, too clever. He's got a mind like his dear old dad. He wouldn't hide it in an obvious place-- oh, no! All right, ya little half-god-- where didja [sic] hide it? I'm losing my patience!"

Hercules: "The money's not here, Nysus."

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Ohhh."

Hercules: "Why'd you frame Iolaus? Why did you send me to the Phoenix Cave to get the chalice?! Jason'll be here any minute with the constable, so you better confess now!"

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Confess? [Laughing] Boring! Life should have a little-- mystery, don't you think? Uh-uh-uh-- don't touch."

Hercules: "Who are you? You're a god, aren't you?"

Strife as Nysus Gaius: "Ah, well-- that's the story of my life-- aah-- nobody knows me. But Zeus's big bouncing baby boy is gonna put me in the big leagues. I destroy Hercules-- and everybody'll know the name of-- "

Strife: [Morphing into usual appearance "Strife!"

[Fight]

Strife: "Oh, you're gettin' higher-- OK. How's the weather up there?! OKay-ay. Whoo-hoo! Oh, extreme. How 'bout we set a few ground rules? First one to touch the ground-- loses. Can't say I'm not fair." [Laughs]

Hercules: "Come on! That all you got?! Ya fight worse than you dress. If you wanna be a real god, you have to do better than that."

Strife: "Hee-hee! Whoo!"

Jason: "Tarsus!"

Hercules: "Strife? Uh! Ow!"

Strife: "That's too bad, Hercules. You know, you really shouldn't mess with _real_ gods. [Sing-songy] Somebody might get hur-urt."

Iolaus: "Hercules! Relative of yours?"

Hercules: "Yeah-- I think so. Listen, um-- I'm sorry about getting you guys in-- ta all this mess."

Iolaus: "Mess? What mess?"

Jason: "We don't mind being chased by giant birds. We just wanna know why."

Hercules: "OK. It's a deal."

Kora: "What's going on?! Hey! Who's gonna pay for this?!"

Jason: "Well-- _we_ didn't make the mess."

Iolaus: "But-- if ya need a hand-- "

Jason: "-- I'd be happy to help ya."

Iolaus: "Oh-- well, I can probably do it, Jas. It's OK. I don't mind."

Jason: [Interrupting "I-- I just offered."

Iolaus: "Yeah-- I know. I know, but-- you know, you probably got things to do."

Jason: "No, I don't. I offered first."

Iolaus: "No, really, I don't mind."

Jason: "I could probably help carry the heavy things. I offered first."

Iolaus: "Oh, really?"

Jason: "Did you hear me?"

Jason: "Think about it, Hercules. You thumped a god."

Hercules: "Ah-- it wasn't a very big god."

Jason: "I bet all of Olympus knows about it by morning."

Hercules: "You think so?"

Jason: "Yeah-- guarantee it. So what are you gonna do with Hera's chalice?"

Hercules: "Zeus and Hera's chalice."

Jason: "OK-- Zeus and Hera's chalice."

Hercules: [Sighs] "I'm takin' it to my dad."