The Lure of the Lyre Transcript (Novelization)
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[TEASER]
[Oulos [sp?] playing in background]
Orpheus [Or]: “Hmm? I didn’t realize I had an audience.”
H: “Ah-- you’re Orpheus, right? I think I’ve seen you play at Kora’s.”
Or: “And you’re one of the cadets from the academy.”
H: “Ah-- Hercules-- nice to meetcha. And that’s a nice-sounding oulos you got there. You make it yourself?”
Or: “No, it was a gift, actually-- from Bacchus.”
H: “From Bacchus? Who’s Bacchus?”
Or: “You don’t know him?”
H: “Hmm.”
Or: “Oh, you have to meet him. Bacchus is the god of good times. With Bacchus on your side, you can kiss your cares goodbye. Come on. I’ll take you to him.”
H: “Oh-oh-- I-I don’t know. I kinda-- gotta get back to the academy, you know? School, so-- ”
Or: “Come on, you can go to the academy any time.”
H: “Uhhhhh-- I’ll see ya later, OK?”
Or: “How often do ya get to meet one of the sons of Zeus?”
H: “Bacchus is the son ’a Zeus?”
Or: “Here we are.”
H: “Oh-ho-ho-- oh-oh. Orpheus-- when you’re right, you’re right. This place is amazing. Uh-- so-- when do I get to meet Bacchus?”
Bacchus [Bac]: “Right now.” [Chuckles]
[ACT I]
Or: “Bacchus? May I present Hercules?”
H: “Hi.”
Bac: “Hercules-- son of Zeus.”
H: “Oh, yeah-- that’s me.”
Bac: “Welcome to our little community. My home-- is your home. After all, we are family. You see, Zeus is my father, too.”
H: “Y-yeah, um-- have you met him?”
Bac: “We can discuss our celestial parent, later-- but right now-- ”
Eurydice [Eur]: “Right now, it’s time Hercules got the grand tour. Wouldn’t you say, Bacchus?”
Bac: “Thank you-- Eurydice.”
Eur: “The pleasure is all mine.”
H: “Oh-h-h-h.”
Eur: “Hercules?”
Bac: “Good work, Orpheus.”
H: “Hey, what’s that? It’s beautiful.”
Eur: “Isn’t it? The gilded spring is said to come straight from the center of the Earth. Don’t.”
H: “Why not?”
Eur: “It’s poisonous. But, Bacchus says that it’s so beautiful, he can’t bear to cover it over. Bacchus believes that-- pleasure-- and freedom-- are what all creatures should live for. No rules-- no fears-- no regrets. Your academy is all training-- and studying-- no fun. Be one of us, Hercules. Forever-ever.”
Bac: [Laughs]
H: “Uh-- I should get goin’. Yeah-- uh, it’s getting kinda late.”
Eur: “Don’t go. Join us, Hercules. Be part of our family. I want you to.”
H: “Thank you very much-- for showing me around. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Bac: “Please-- think of these caverns as your home away from home. When the pressures of life get too much, feel free to come here-- and relax.”
H: “Sure. Yeah.”
Bac: “And bring your friends.”
H: “I will. Goodbye. Goodbye.”
Bac [Yells]: “We were so close. We almost had him.”
Or: “Uh-- we’re-- we’re-we’re sorry, Bacchus.”
Eur: “If he comes back-- ”
Or: “When he comes back-- ”
Bac: “He will have his friends with him. Then we’ll see how hard he is to persuade.”
I: “Ah-- Hercules. Where have you been? You met a girl? Oh! Uh.”
H: “Yeah.”
I: “Really? You met a girl and you didn’t tell me? I’m crushed. I’m heartbroken.”
Lilith [Lil]: “Yeah, well, keep your guard up-- or that’s not all that’ll be broken-- OK?”
I: “Oh, Herc-- come on. Tell me. Don’t make me hurt you.”
H: “OK-- you two ever heard of Bacchus?”
I: “Bacchus-- oh, yeah. He’s a-- Cyclops-- works for Ares.”
H: “No-- not even close. He’s the god ’a good times. His cavern’s not far from here. You know what? You two should really check it out.”
H’s Voice: “What?”
H: “What, you don’t believe me?”
I: “Uh, let me put it this way-- no.”
Lil’s Voice: “Your idear [sic] of a good party?”
Lil: “That’s to play-- ‘Pin the tail on the Centaur’.”
I’s Voice: “Yeah, Lilith’s right, Herc. Uh-- we do kinda want a second opinion.”
H: “Sssssss. Well-- fine then. [Ed. note-- this first part was dubbed. I can’t read H’s lips to figure out the original.] You know what? There’s lots of good food there.”
I: “They got good food here. Well, they-- they have food here.”
H: “And there’s lotsa interesting artwork.”
Lil: “Hey-hey! That’s what _I_ always look for in a good party.”
H: “There’s girls. Hey-- where you goin’?”
I: “You said-- girls-- right?”
H: “Well, yeah.”
I: “I’m there.”
I: “Aw, man, Jas’ll be mad he missed out on this, huh?”
H: “Yeah, well-- that’s what he gets for going to king school, right?”
I: “Uh-huh.”
H: “All right.”
Bac: “Welcome back, Hercules. And thank you for bringing your-- charming friends.”
Lil: “I’ve never seen anything like this, before.”
Bac: “Really? Please-- let me show you around.”
I’s Voice: “Never fails, huh?”
I: “Chicks always dig guys with horns.”
Girl: “May I have this dance?”
I: “Ooh. [Whispers] I love you.”
H: “Oh-- Eurydice.”
Eur: “Hi.”
H’s Voice: “Hi. Uh.”
Eur: “Come dance.”
H: “Uh-- thanks.”
Eur: “I’m really glad you came back.”
H: “Oh. Thanks. Me, too. There’s sum’in’ wrong. Iolaus. We gotta get outta here.”
I: “Oh. Oh, Herc. Come on. For once, you were right about a party, you know? Come on. Ease up, man.”
H: “I’m telling you. I got a funny feelin’ about this-- and we gotta go-- now-- OK?”
I: “OK.”
H: “OK.”
I: “Let’s go.”
H: “Get Lilith.”
I: “I’m sorry.”
H: “Nooooooooo!”
Bac: “Hear me, my Bacchae-- after them. Stop them, my Bacchae! If you don’t bring them back, you’ll all suffer!”
Bac: “That goes for you, too, Orpheus. Your job is to get humans to fill the ranks of my Bacchae. That is the one-- and only reason-- that you’re not a Bacchae-- yet. Now, go!”
H: “They changed into wolves. Hurry up!”
H’s Voice: “Open the gates!”
Cheiron: “What happened?”
I: “Uh-- we just left a party that got a little too strange.”
Lil: “Another one of Hercules’ bizarre relatives?”
I: “Yeah, this one had horns.”
Cheiron: “Bacchus.”
H [Whispers]: “Yeah.”
Cheiron: “Count yourselves lucky you escaped his cult.”
H’s Voice: “Cult?”
Cheiron: “The Bacchae live for the whims of their master.”
H: “They tried to suck us into their little cult.”
Cheiron: “Legend has it that in moments of extreme excitement, the Bacchae transform into wolves.”
I: “Oh, well-- that’s the last time I let you pick the party.”
H: “Hey-- don’t worry about it, OK? Next time I see that two-face Orpheus, he’ll be playin’ that lyre with his toes.”
I: “Hmm-- and so much for your new girlfriend.”
H: “Whoa, whoa! You OK?”
Lil: “I f-- feel woo-woozy.”
Cheiron: “The mark of the Bacchae. Come sundown-- she’ll belong to Bacchus.”
H: “We’ll see about that.”
[ACT II]
H: “Doin’ some more recruiting, Orpheus?”
Or: “Hercules-- look. You gotta understand-- I-I-I had no choice.”
H: “Hey. Save it. All right? I only wanna know one thing from you. One thing! How do I stop Lilith from becoming-- a Bacchae?”
Or: “There’s no way. She belongs to Bacchus, now. Uh.”
H: “That’s not what I wanted to hear.”
Or: “Only Bacchus knows the cure. All right. All right. Some of the Bacchae remember a story-- a kind of-- riddle about-- washing your spirit clean. Nobody knows what it means.”
H: “Well-- we’re goin’ back there-- and you’re coming with us.”
Bac’s Voice: “The son of Zeus will be perfect for my purpose.”
Bac: “With him as my lieutenant-- I can use you-- and the other Bacchae to build an empire-- an empire-- which you and I will share, Eurydice-- once I make Hercules join us.”
H’s Voice: “Give it your best shot.”
Eur’s Voice: “Orpheus”
Bac: “Hercules.”
H: “Here’s the deal. You and me-- right here-- right now! If you win-- I’ll become a Bacchae, but if I win, you cure Lilith-- and we walk away.”
Bac: “I have you, already. Why should I agree to this?”
I: “Uh, your innate sense of decency and fair play?”
Bac: “Hmm.”
H: “Come on-- unless you’re afraid.”
Bac [Laughs]: “Very well, Hercules-- I could do with the exercise.”
[Fight]
I: “He’d better hurry up. We’re losing the sun.”
Bac: “What, am I?! Alone here?! Get him! Grab them.”
Eur: “We can’t let this go on.”
I: “This was supposed to be just you and Hercules! One-on-one!”
Bac: “Life is full of disappointments. Bbite him now, before the sun sets. What are you doing?! Stop! Or be destroyed!”
I: “Eurydice? She’s helping us?”
Eur: “Oh, no you don’t.”
Bac: [Yells]
H: “The spring. ‘Wash your spirit clean. Wash your spirit clean.’ It’s poisonous to you, not to us. Lilith!”
I: “Come on! We gotta go! All right, Herc. She’s changing. Come on.”
H [Sighs]: “Are you OK?”
Lil: “Yeah-- yeah, I think so.”
I: “Uh-- we shoud-- probably get goin’-- yeah?”
H: “Yeah. Hey-- you comin’? Huh? Come on.”
Bac: “Stop them!”
Lil’s Voice: “You think Bacchus will go and let them live in peace?”
I: “Ah, I don’t care-- just as long as they don’t come back here, the-- crazy-- yellow-eyed, wolf-- girls. Man, that place was _not_ as advertised.”
Lil: “Think about it, Iolaus. I mean, that could’ve been me-- trapped in that cult, forever-- living my life as that monster’s slave.”
I: “Yeah. Well, we should know better than to let Hercules pick our parties-- right?” [Chuckles]
H: “Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sorry.”
I’s Voice: “You OK?”
H: “Yeah.”
I: “Orpheus and Eurydice will be fine.”
H [Sighs]: “Just great.”
