Cold Feet Shooting Draft
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Cold Feet
Episode #11
Production #V0811
Written by: Steven Melching
Directed by: Charlie Haskell
Shooting Draft - July 29, 1998
Full Script (20 Marked Pages) - August 14, 1998
Pages 4-6, 9-10, 12-13, 18-21, 23-24 - August 21, 1998
Pages 12-13 - August 31, 1998
Pacific Island Pictures, LTD, All Rights Reserved © 1998
Cast List
Hercules
Jason
Lilith
Pelia - (PEE-lee-ah)
Balan - (BAH-lan)
Daptes - (DAP-tees)
Ophistus - (oh-FISS-tuss)
Water Fellah Changed to Mad Medicine Woman *
Young Woman #1
Villagers
Set List
Interiors:
Cheiron's Academy - Classroom
Cheiron's Academy - Training Hall
Kora's Inn
Pelia's Barn
Pelia's House
Exteriors:
Cheiron's Academy
Campsite *
Forest
Forest Path *
Kora's Inn
Meadow *
Pelia's Barn
Pelia's Farm
Road
Roadside *
FADE IN:
EST. KORA'S INN - NIGHT
The BOISTEROUS sounds of a good time come from within.
That was not my fault! You were the one who challenged those Satyrs to a race!
You bet them we'd run through the town naked if we lost!
INT. KORA'S INN
HERCULES and JASON sit at a table, LAUGHING LOUDLY, the remains of dinner still in evidence. It's getting late, but there are still quite a few PATRONS in the inn. LILITH is cutting a rug on the dance floor.
(embarrassed at memory)
That's the last time I show my face in Guilder.
(smiles)
Your face wasn't the problem.
(offers alternative) So we go to the Northern Lands on the break. They're great!
Three pretty YOUNG WOMEN hover around Jason.
(PG come on)
I'm from the Northern Lands. I'd be happy to show you around.
Jason cocks an eyebrow. Hercules rolls his eyes.
You're Jason, the prince, aren't you?
On the dance floor, someone coming in the door catches Lilith's eye. It's not good. Jason continues with his flirting.
Why, yes. Yes, I am.
(reacts to nudge from Herc) Oh, and this is my friend Hercules.
The Gals continue to fawn over Jason. Lilith comes over, anxious.
So, what are you ladies doing out so late?
Jason! Incoming!
What? Where?!
Suddenly a HUSH falls over the room. A dour, officious-looking man wearing fine clothing, OPHISTUS, has entered the inn. He looks at the various patrons with Disdain, as if touching them would make him dirty. Herc sees him and grimaces:
(recognizing him)
Oh no...
Jason lowers his head in his hand. Ophistus hurries to his table.
Jason! I've been looking everywhere.
(defeated)
Hello, Ophistus.
Ophistus approaches Jason, who slouches at the table casually, feet up, clothes somewhat disheveled.
(pointed)
Your coronation date is fast approaching, young Prince. You can no longer put off your instruction in royal etiquette.
Jason straightens, self-conscious under Ophistus' glare.
To be King, you must grow up and put away childish things. Report to me in the morning and we shall begin.
Ophistus glances at Hercules and Lilith with icy contempt, turns, and glides out of the room. The friends watch him go.
That guy seriously needs to get a life. Any life.
Jason gets up and walks away, grim-faced.
Hey, where're you going? Curfew's not for another hour.
(grunts)
Looks like I've got an early wake-up call.
Jason heads for the door. Lilith grouses, perhaps a bit jealous.
What's wrong with him? Ophistus is a drag, but I thought Jason was looking forward to this king thing all his life.
So did I...
Hercules watches Jason go, concerned...
FADE OUT.
Act One
FADE IN:
INT. ACADEMY - CLASSROOM - BACK CORNER - DAY
Jason sits at a table, half-asleep, as Ophistus lectures. Books, scrolls, maps, silverware, and other oddities cover the table in a small, back corner area.
...It's of utmost importance to remember that an ambassador from Cydonia must always be greeted with the left hand, and must never be seated facing South.
Why should we respect their customs? They're pirates! They attack their neighbors, they ignore treaties --
This is statesmanship, My Prince. The formalities are what's important. Great cities have gone to war for less.
Ophistus, that's ridiculous.
Perhaps. But protocol makes the world go 'round, so you'd best pay attention. You're meeting the Cydonian ambassador on your next break.
No, no, we have plans for the break --
Oh, I'm afraid not. Your royal calendar is booked solid for months.
(sharp)
Months?
(then, weary) How did my father do this?
INT. ACADEMY - TRAINING HALL - DAY
A typical morning. Cadets move through their morning workout. A tired and sluggish Jason arrives and joins Hercules and Lilith as they wrap up their workout (maybe with staffs).
Hey, guys.
Hercules and Lilith immediately start teasing him.
Well, look who's here! The young king!
Etiquette drills, Your Majesty?!
You missed quite a workout this morning, Sire.
Believe me, I'd rather run the Cheiron one-thousand than go back to Ophistus. He spent the entire morning lecturing me on royal table manners!
Aww, is the regal backside sore?
Jason is clearly upset; he came here looking for friendship and support, and instead he's getting harassed.
All right guys, enough...
Hark! His Highness speaks!
Is it an imperial decree?
Just put a sock in it, okay? You don't get it. You'll never understand.
Jason walks away. Quick beat, then Hercules follows.
I kinda thought you were looking forward to it. Being King. You've been preparing for it your whole life.
I'll have responsibilities. It'll all be different.
(beat) Sometimes I wish I could live the life of a simple peasant. No decisions, no one depending on you.
It's okay to be worried. Your father left some big shoes to fill.
(struck a nerve)
I know, already!
(calms; half-smiles) He taught me a lot. You'll find out when I wipe the floor with your team in the war games.
Hercules and Jason grin, a challenge issued and accepted...
EXT. FOREST - NEAR TINY MAKE-SHIFT FORT - DAY
The war games are in progress. Jason leads his team of THREE CADETS through the woods. They pause behind dome cover, looking at some VERY SIMPLE, TINY, MAKE-SHIFT, CRUDE STICK-AND-DIRT fortifications about fifty yards away.
There. Hercules' men are holed up inside.
There's some activity inside the tiny enemy fort: helmets poking up, spears moving around. Jason smiles.
We'll crush them.
NEAR THE FORT, Jason and his Cadets sneak through the woods, easing towards it, readying their padded weapons. On a silent command, they storm the walls, climbing up and over! But the fort is empty. Except for Lilith, who sits alone in the center, pulling on ropes that control a crude Rube Goldberg contraption which has created the illusion of an occupied position -- helmeted dummies look around, spears move back and forth, etc. Lilith puts her hands up in mock surprise:
I surrender!
Before Jason can react, Hercules and his TWO CADETS emerge from hiding, exploding out of the brush and swinging in on ropes. Jason is taken completely by surprise. Lilith grins, shrugs.
Oops.
Looks like we've got you surrounded.
Jason looks around, humiliated in front of everyone.
C'mon Jason, don't you remember Cheiron's lesson number one?
(imitation Cheiron) 'Sometimes what appears to be, isn't.'
The winning Cadets LAUGH and high-five. Jason's Cadets stand in uneasy silence, noticing how upset he is. Jason's mind reels; it seems that everyone is laughing at him. Finally he snaps:
Who do you think you are? You think you can make a fool out of me?
It's just a game, Jason --
It's not a game! I'm going to be King of Corinth! You have no idea what that means! None of you! I'm training for something real!
Jason throws down his padded sword and storms off.
What's with him?
He's got a lot on his mind. He just has to work it out.
FADE TO:
INT. ACADEMY - TRAINING HALL - DAY (NEXT MORNING)
The Cadets go through their paces. Something catches Herc's eye as he and Lilith wrestle, distracting him. Lilith takes him down, and they flip around, with Lilith ending up sitting comically on Herc's back.
I won! In your face, Son of Zeus!
Hercules ignores Lilith, who catches on and also looks O.S. A frantic Ophistus has entered and looks around. He spots them, approaches.
Have you seen Jason this morning?
We thought he was with you.
More 'royal shoe-tying' lessons...
By Zeus it's true! The Prince has been kidnapped!
Kidnapped?
(getting emotional)
It was my responsibility, to raise a good king. I made a promise to his father...
What do you mean he was kidnapped?
Jason is gone! What other explanation is there?
He was pretty stressed, maybe he just needed some time to himself --
No, Jason would never go off without telling me!
(frantic, thinking) I must return to Corinth at once! Prepare a ransom! Organize a rescue party! Post reward!
The panicked Ophistus hurries out.
You don't think he was kidnapped, do you?
No. But I've got an idea what's going on. We'd better find him first.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. ROAD - DAY
Jason, in travel clothes, comes upon a pair of PEASANTS who are struggling to change a broken wheel on their wagon. He rushes to help, lifting the wagon alongside an older man, BALAN.
Let me help you. Ready?
They lift the heavy wagon together, and Balan's daughter PELIA slides a replacement wheel into place on the axle. They carefully set the wagon down, and Balan shakes Jason's hand gratefully.
Thank you, young man. My name is Balan. This is my daughter, Pelia.
Jason turns to face Pelia, and is momentarily struck by her beauty. He shakes her hand, getting axle grease all over his.
Pleased to meet you. I'm Jason.
I don't believe I've seen you in these parts before.
No, sir. I'm just passing through.
(flirtatious)
Nice boots for a wanderer. Is that Corinthian leather?
(self-conscious)
Oh, yeah, uh, they were a gift.
It'll be dark soon. Do you have a place to spend the night?
Thank you, sir, but I'd best be on my way.
Nonsense, you won't get three miles before nightfall, and it's not safe out. In exchange for your help you'll be my guest for dinner.
Really, I couldn't impose --
And I have a nice, warm barn so you don't have to sleep in the weather.
My father doesn't take no for an answer.
Pelia's smile melts any resistance in Jason.
Then it's settled.
EXT. PELIA'S FARM - NIGHT
To establish.
INT. PELIA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Jason, Pelia, and Balan share a simple but pleasant meal in the modest home. Jason has relaxed, and is telling tales:
...I've never seen lakes so blue before. You couldn't tell where the water ended and the sky began.
You've been so many places. I've always dreamed of traveling.
What's keeping you?
There's a moment of uncomfortable silence as Pelia and Balan exchange glances.
I had saved some money to travel, but we had a bad harvest one year. Then mother died, and... there's so much to be done here.
Where are you off to next, Jason?
I don't know. I think I'll know it when I find it.
We could really use an extra hand around here. At least through the harvest. The work's hard, but we like it. What do you say?
Jason looks around. He smiles, pleased at what he sees.
(comes to a decision)
Thank you. I'd love to stay.
Balan grins broadly and pours more water. Jason looks at Pelia, who is a bit more cautious, maybe even suspicious...
EXT. ACADEMY - DAY
Herc and Lilith walk away from the academy, carrying provisions.
(shaking her head)
Spending our break looking for Jason... Are you sure we're going the right way?
No. But Jason was talking about visiting the Northern Lands.
I hope Jason realizes what great friends he has. Especially when he's choosing ambassadors.
You know, Lilith, you sound just like Iolaus.
Is that a bad thing?
I haven't decided yet. Ask me again in five miles.
EXT. PELIA'S FARM - DAY
{BEGIN FARM MONTAGE}
Jason pulls a bucket of water from the well.
INT. PELIA'S BARN - DAY
{MONTAGE}
Jason helps Balan stack barrels.
EXT. PELIA'S FARM - DAY
{MONTAGE}
LAUGHING, Jason and Pelia chase down an escaped chicken. They stumble, run, frown, leap and finally bump into each other, knocking each other into the dirt.
EXT. PELIA'S FARM
{MONTAGE}
Jason has worked up a sweat chopping wood. Pelia arrives with water and he gladly drinks.
INT. PELIA'S BARN - LATER
{END FARM MONTAGE}
A barn dance is in progress. Villagers drink nectar, dance, and make merry as MUSICIANS play. Jason is off by himself, watching the "simple people" enjoy themselves. Pelia approaches him.
Dance?
Me? No, I don't know the steps --
No excuses! Come on, I'll teach you!
Pelia drags Jason out onto the floor. They dance with abandon. Jason has lost all pretension, and seems truly happy and relaxed.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. PELIA'S BARN - LATER - DAY
Jason and Pelia step outside for some air.
Those fancy boots of yours could teach me a step or two.
(contented)
They brought me here. I'm beginning to think this life suits me: a hard day's work and a good night's sleep. My old life was a lot more... complicated.
(laughs as his innocence)
You think this life is simple? You have no idea of the decisions, the risks...
Like what?
If we plant too early we miss the rains, nothing grows, and we go hungry. If we plant too late we miss the market, nothing sells, and we go poor. What if there's an early frost? What if we don't have enough hands at harvest --
Okay, okay, I see your point.
The work is the easy part...
Suddenly they hear HORSES APPROACHING. Feelings of fear and loathing wash over Pelia, and she calls back into the barn:
Father... Father!
What's wrong? Who's --
Daptes. Just be quiet.
Right on cue, a half-dozen surly RAIDERS ride up to the barn, brandishing weapons. Balan and some of the Villagers emerge from the barn, bowing their heads humbly. The leader of the Raiders, DAPTES, eyes Pelia (PG salaciously) and approaches Balan.
Where is your payment, Balan?
Please, Daptes. We -- we have had a poor harvest. I have only enough for my family --
I don't want excuses! I want payment! You know the penalty!
Daptes kicks Balan, knocking him to the ground, and draws his sword. Jason steps forward and stands defiantly between Daptes and Balan. Pelia tries to stop Jason, but it's too late. She looks on, terrified.
Leave him alone!
Daptes looks down at Jason with anger and contempt.
Insolence! You've earned yourself an early grave.
The Raiders close in on Jason, weapons raised...
FADE OUT.
Act Two
FADE IN:
EXT. PELIA'S BARD - RESUME
Jason stands his ground, preparing for a fight, as Daptes and his men surround him. Pelia intervenes, holding a basket of tropical fruits.
Please, Daptes. My cousin has only just arrived. He doesn't know about the payment. Please...
Daptes looks at Pelia, then the basket. Daptes has a soft spot for Pelia, so he accepts the offering.
Be sure you teach him.
With a signal from Daptes, the Raiders ride off. Jason watches bitterly as they go, then follows Pelia into the barn.
INT. PELIA'S BARN - DAY
Jason catches up to Pelia, who comforts a shaken Balan.
How long has this been going on?
For years. He used to come once a season, but now...
Why doesn't King Laetes put a stop to it? He's an honorable man --
Honorable? We begged for his help, but it never came. He doesn't care about us.
Unless we don't pay our taxes on time!
Then why don't you fight Daptes?
Don't you think we tried?
Pelia helps her father toward the door. Jason ponders what he's heard for a long moment, then follows.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. PELIA'S BARN - DAY
A pair of Villagers hurry inside...
You don't have to live in fear! You don't have to give away your crops!
INT. PELIA'S BARN - DAY
Jason addresses a dozen or so Villagers, armed mainly with various farm tools, though there are a few rusty swords and spears. As he speaks, Pelia enters and listens with growing apprehension.
I'm a warrior, and I can teach you to fight. Your cause is just, but you must take a stand for yourselves and your neighbors! Are you with me?!
The Villagers CHEER. Jason sees Pelia and excuses himself.
Pair off as we'll start with some simple hand-to-hand drills.
Who in Tartarus do you think you are?
(taken aback)
I -- I'm trying to help you. Pelia, I thought you'd be happy.
Happy?! This isn't your home, Jason. These aren't your people. You're a good man, but what you're doing could get people killed! You're just passing through. You mess up, and we have to live with it.
Seems to me like you have a lot to live with right now. The others are with me, Pelia. I know what I'm doing.
I hope so.
She storms off. Jason watches her go, frustrated.
EXT. ROAD - DAY
Hercules and Lilith walk down a familiar-looking road.
I still don't understand why he'd run off like that. Jason's got it made! He's go so much to look forward to.
Maybe too much. People expect a lot from him.
(deadpan)
Yeah. I hate it when that happens.
They stop by the MAD MEDICINE WOMAN who stands by the side of the road, manning a bucket of water and a ladle. Hercules hands a coin to the Mad Medicine Woman and Lilith takes a drink of water.
Good day, ma'am. We're looking for a friend of ours who may have passed this way. About so tall, dark hair.
Stick up his backside --
Hercules elbows Lilith, who spills water on herself. The Mad Medicine Woman rubs thumb and forefinger in the international gesture for "more money". Hercules catches on, hands her another coin.
Which way was he headed?
(flirty)
Tall, dark and handsome, you say? You did say handsome, didn't you, handsome?
Herc is taken aback by the flirting. Lilith cuts her off by slapping another coin in the woman's hand.
Which way?
North.
Hercules gives Lilith a "see, I told you so" look. Lilith gives him a "yeah, big deal" look and hands Hercules the ladle.
Thank you.
Herc dips the ladle into the bucket; the Mad Medicine Woman stops him.
Unh! That'll be another dinar. Business before pleasure, handsome.
EXT. PELIA'S FARM - DAY
A handful of Villagers and Farmhands scurry for cover at the sound of APPROACHING HORSES. Daptes and four Raiders arrive. This time Balan and the Villagers offer nothing. Daptes is furious.
How dare you have nothing for me?!
Jason steps forward.
There won't be any more payments.
You don't learn your lessons very well, do you, cousin? Perhaps you need another example...
But as soon as Daptes makes his move, armed Villagers emerge from hiding to surround the Raiders. An Archer on a rooftop takes aim at Daptes. Pelia appears at Jason's side, brandishing a rake. Jason smiles; he's in charge of this encounter.
You'll pay for this. All of you will pay for this!
Daptes and his Men FIGHT THEIR WAY OUT. They keep the angry Villagers at bay with their swords and spears, then make a break. As they flee, a CHEER goes up from the triumphant Villagers. The Villagers crowd Jason, thanking him. This is the first glimmer of hope they've seen in a long time. Jason notices Pelia off by herself, and breaks away to speak to her.
Glad to see you changed your mind.
The fight's going to happen with or without me. I can't just stand around and watch.
Sometimes you have to take a stand and fight for what's right.
(anguished)
We tried that already! Years ago! It didn't work! All that happened was my father lost what spirit he had!
She opens her mouth to speak but is choked with emotion. He watches, thinking, as she exits.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. PELIA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Pelia and Balan clean up after the evening meal. Jason has gone. Pelia is clearly upset.
You haven't said a word all evening.
It's just... I'm afraid. What if Jason's wrong? We could lose everything.
I share your worries, Daughter. Give the young man some credit. He's a real leader. He's given us hope for the first time in years. With his help we have a real chance to break free of Daptes.
I --I haven't heard you talk like that in a long time.
I haven't felt this way in a long time. It feels... good.
INT. PELIA'S BARN - NIGHT
Jason is packing to leave. Pelia catches him in the act.
Moving on?
I'm going to face Daptes alone. I'm the one he really wants.
No! That might stop the attack, but it doesn't solve the problem. It might even make it worse.
So now you want me to stay and fight?
You've given these people hope. They haven't had that in years, and you can't just yank it away
I can if it'll save lives.
Maybe you should have thought of that before. Now they're ready to make a final stand, and they need a leader. They need you. Please!
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. PELIA'S FARM - DAY
Daptes and as many Raiders as we can afford thunder into the farm on horseback, fully armed and ready for battle! But the farm appears deserted. The Raiders stop, triumphant.
Cowards! They've run off!
(to his Men) Burn it all! The ashes of this farm will be a warning to all those who oppose paying tribute!
The Raiders dismount. One of them approaches the barn with a torch... when an ARROW suddenly ZINGS through the air and strikes the torch, knocking it out of his hand! Daptes and the Raiders look around, surprised. Jason steps into the open, handing the bow back to its owner and drawing his sword. Daptes smiles.
Oh good, you're here. I was afraid we wouldn't get a fight today.
You'll get a fight, all right.
Once again the Villagers (including Balan and Pelia) swarm into the open, but this time they just herd the horses out of the area, creating a lot of dust and confusion, then... ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE, "Seven Samurai"-style: a Raider falls into a concealed pit; two more are captured in a net dropped from the barn; another Raider goes sprawling after getting snagged on a tripwire. Another Raider goes hand-to-hand with the Villagers. But for all their spirit, the Villagers are outclassed by the more seasoned Raiders, who soon gain the upper hand.
Jason is locked in fierce sword combat with Daptes, who senses victory is at hand:
You're not bad... for a farmer! I could use a man of your skill--
Don't even ask.
Suddenly, one of the Raiders goes flying through the air and lands in a card. A moment later a second Raider is also sent flying. Through the confusion of battle WE SEE Hercules! Several Raiders try to swarm him, but he shrugs them off, sending them sprawling. Lilith fends off a pair of Raiders with her sword.
Hercules!
NOW THE BATTLE IS TRULY JOINED. With three academy-trained cadets on their side, the Villagers turn the tide and capture the Raiders. The Villagers disarm their foes and surround them, CHEERING the reunited Jason, Hercules and Lilith.
Nice timing, guys. Thanks,
We'll always be there for you, Jason.
Friends to the end, Prince or no Prince. You think we could still get that reward?
Lilith! You're scaring me with that Iolaus bit.
Just asking...
Just then the cavalry arrives -- Ophistus and TWO CORINTHIAN SOLDIERS. Ophistus spots Jason and races to his side.
You're safe, Young Prince! Are these the scum who kidnapped you?
'Prince...'?
EXCITED MURMURS buzz between the Villagers as the news sweeps through their ranks Lilith picks up on Pelia:
Your friend here is the Crown Prince of Corinth. That's usually the first thing he tells people.
Pelia walks off, lost in thought. Jason turns to Ophistus.
See to it that these bandits are turned over to King Laetes for punishment.
As you wish, My Prince. But your education? We've lose days! We haven't touched upon official posturing, not to mention --
Later, Ophistus. I have... official business to attend to.
Ophistus shakes his head. Jason tentatively approaches Pelia.
I couldn't tell you. It meant a lot to me that you liked me without it.
You've given my father back everything. You'll be a great leader, Jason. You already are --
Pelia --
-- now go. Go be 'great'.
Jason nods, understanding, and takes her hand.
Thank you, Pelia -- for everything. I'll never forget you.
The Villagers spontaneously CHEER Jason:
Long live Prince Jason!
Hercules and Lilith join in the CHEERING.
FADE OUT.
