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| '''[[1.18 A Serpent's Tooth|« Back to "1.18 A Serpent's Tooth"]]'''<td></tr></table> | | '''[[1.18 A Serpent's Tooth|« Back to "1.18 A Serpent's Tooth"]]'''<td></tr></table> |
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| == Teaser ==
| | To Be Added. |
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| '''1st Man's Voice:''' "This cow belongs to me, Prince Jason!"
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| '''2nd Man Voice:''' "He's lying, my prince! I raised this cow from a tiny calf with my two hands! You have no idea the amount of time and money-- !"
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| '''Ophistus:''' "I believe you already told that story."
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| '''Jason:''' "Yeah, like twice."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Uh, sorry. Don't let us interrupt you."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah. My point though, huh?"
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| '''Ophistus:''' "This is the throne room-- not some common courtyard! Leave now!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Look-- I don't know who's cow it is!"
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| '''Ophistus:''' "Prince Jason-- when you become ruler, you must appear to know-- everything."
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| '''Jason:''' "All right. You get the cow. I'll give _you_ one-- from the royal herd-- a royal cow. Everybody's happy. Everybody has a cow. Moo, moo, moo. See ya later."
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| '''Ophistus:''' "There is-- one more petitioner."
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| '''Jason:''' [Sighs] "Aw, come one-- you said that three petitioners ago. Can I go, now? I just wanna play! Hi!"
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| '''Sibyl Translator:''' "The Babylonian Sibyl wishes to present to the crown prince this-- sacred stone-- in honor-- of his coming coronation."
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| '''Jason:''' "You know what they say? Never quibble with a Sibyl."
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| '''Ophistus:''' [Chuckles]
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| '''Sibyl Translator:''' "The Sibyl says the stone will bring good fortune to the ruler who possesses it."
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| '''Jason:''' "Oh! Well, on behalf of the people of Corinth-- we thank the Sibyl."
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| '''Sibyl Translator:''' "The sibyl says, ‘You're welcome.'"
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| '''Jason:''' "Jason says, ‘My pleasure. Be good. [Chuckles] See ya.'"
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| '''Ophistus:''' "Well done, your Highness."
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| '''Jason:''' "Huh? [Mouths] Yeah."
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| '''Sibyl Translator:''' "Hmm-- I'm glad that didn't take long."
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| '''Strife''': "It didn't-- did it? [Laughing] I got all dressed up!"
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| '''Discord:''' "Chin up, Strife. Just think how impressed Ares will be-- when we've destroyed Corinth." [They laugh]
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| '''Jason:''' "Yo-- if anybody else needs me-- forget it-- ‘cause I'm gonna go outside and _play_."
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| '''Hercules:''' "But-- where's the-- ball? No-- ‘cause somebody fell on it."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I was push"
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| '''Jason:''' "Ah-- how'd that happpen?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, what's this? Looks like a rock."
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| '''Jason:''' "Yeah, it's a-- Babylonian rock."
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| '''Hercules:''' "I wish I was a prince, huh? Nobody ever gives me rocks."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah-- you know? It's not so heavy. Maybe, uh-- maybe it bounces."
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| '''Jason:''' "Uhhh-- don't-- don't do that."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh, yeah. Ha-ha-ha! Whaddya think? Huh? Huh-h-h? Football game? All right!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Sh, sh, sh-- no talky, talky; no talky, talky. Just play, _play_."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Come here. Ooh-oh! Ooh! Uhh! Oh! Huh."
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| Birth of a basilisk
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| == Act One ==
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| '''Hercules:''' "What is that thing?!"
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| '''Jason:''' "It was a gift from the Babylonian Sibyl until-- somebody broke it."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Do you know where she got it? Maybe we can, uh-- take it back and exchange it. I guess he was, uh-- hungry-- huh?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "No, don't."
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| '''Jason:''' "Stick your arm in his mouth. See if he likes meat."
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| '''Hercules:''' "No-- hey, don't. He's joking."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Uh-- I think he's kinda cute. [Chuckles] Don't be afraid, little guy. I'm, uh-- just gonna, uh-- hey, you, uh-- you want some, uh-- you want some grapes? Whoa, whoa! Huh? Hey, I think he likes me. He must think I'm his mother, or something."
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| '''Hercules:''' "You know what? You probably look like her."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh."
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| '''Jason:''' "Oh."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I gotta call you something. How about-- how about Ruff? OK, so, uh-- hi, Ruff. [Chuckles] Uh-- my name's Iolaus. Do you, uh-- do you wanna be my friend?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Motherhood is such a-- beautiful thing."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh, it brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "No harm done. I'll just, uh-- just, uh-- clean it up. Oh! No! Hey! Where's he going?!"
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| '''Strife:''' "How long does it take-- for a-- _basilisk_ to-- hatch, or-- [Chuckling] whatever?" [Screams]
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| '''Discord:''' "Not long, apparently."
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| '''Strife:''' "That basilisk sure is a squirmy little thing, isn't it?"
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| '''Discord:''' "Hercules is coming."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Ruff! He musta gone this way."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Ruff! Ruff!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Ha-ha. Iolaus, you sound like a dog."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hey, you know what? He's probably lookin' for food."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah-- at the market!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "The market-- good."
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| '''Jason:''' "Hey, Hercules-- explain to me-- why are we chasin' after this Ruff?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh, well-- "
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| '''Woman's Voice:''' [Screams]
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| '''Hercules:''' "Don't you throw that spear!"
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| '''Jason:''' "I'm Prince Jason of Corinth, and that creature belongs to me."
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| '''Bearded Man:''' "Yeah?! Well, we're not _from_ Corinth-- and the food that thing's eatin' belongs to us."
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| '''Jason:''' "Aw-- well, you're probably not hungry now, anyway. Nice kick."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Thanks. You OK? I'm on your side."
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| [Fight]
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| '''Jason:''' "Thanks!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hey-- any time. Hey-- where's Ruff?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Huh?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hang on, Ruff! I'm coming! Hey! Hey! Back off! Leave him alone! Back off! Leave him alone! Leave him alone! You OK? Yeah? OK, now he may _look_ like a monster-- OK, and he _is_-- but-- he's just a _baby_-- OK?! He's harmless! disgusting, but-- harmless."
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| '''Man's Voice:''' "It's a freak!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh-- excuse me."
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| '''Jason:''' "Excuse me."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hang on, buddy, I'm comin' to getcha!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Listen, whaddya think you're doin'?! You know you can't s swim!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Well-- "
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| '''Hercules:''' "I don't wanna have to save the both 'a ya."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Well, go!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Be careful!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Can you see him?!"
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| '''Hercules's Voice:''' "I got him!"
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| '''Jason:''' "He's got him. He's got him!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Is he OK?!"
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| '''Hercules's Voice:''' "I can't tell! Pull up. Pull up! Pull me up!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh, man."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Listen-- I don't think he's breathin'."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Uh-- well, we gotta _revive_ him! Someone's gotta-- someone's gotta blow air into his mouth."
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| '''Jason:''' "All right, well, uh-- well, you're his mother. Y-you do it."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah. Uh-- uh-- hmm-- hell-- uh [Coughs]-- uh-- I think there's-- something blocking the entrance. There's something in his throat."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh-- hold on. Lemme try something. Come here. Come on up. Easy. Easy. OK-- here we go. There's a bunch 'a loose rocks down there. Maybe he swallowed one, you know? OK-- here we go."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Come on."
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| '''Jason:''' "Popped right out!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Ah, are you all right?! Don't ever do that again!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Aw, man."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hey, Iolaus."
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| '''Discord:''' "Mmmmm."
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| '''Strife:''' "Um-- is that the sound of a crowd fleeing in terror as Corinth is destroyed? Ha-ha-ha-ha. Uh-- no! [Buzzing Sound] It's the sound of the crowd cheering for _Hercules_ and his pals and their little pet! Nah! Uncle Ares is gonna be _so-o-o-o_ impressed. He-he-he-- he's just gonna go all-- warm and fuzzy, inside. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-- "
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| '''Discord:''' [Interrupting] "Oh-- go soak your head!"
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| '''Strife:''' [Interrupting] [Scream]
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| '''Discord:''' "I try so hard to teach him to be patient. The basilisk is still a baby! It takes time for his venom to take effect!"
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| '''Discord:''' "The fun's started." [They laugh]
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| '''Strife:''' "Like it."
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| == Act Two ==
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "Hey, uh, now that the fire's out, you guys wanna see what I taught Ruff? Huh?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "OK, Ruff-- ready? Wanna fetch? Yeah? Hoo! Ah. Go! Awww. Thank you."
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| '''Ophistus:''' "The captain of the guard-- reports that no one was seen setting the fires."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Some people can only be seen when they wanna be seen-- you know what I mean?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Fetch! Ooh!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Maybe it was one of the gods."
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| '''Ophistus:''' "The people are worried, Prince Jason. I suggest you make a speech, encouraging them. Now-- this is a standardm reassuring speech, suitable for any calamity."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh. Oh. Ruff?"
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| '''Ophistus:''' "Perhaps you could devote more attention to your duties if you put that _thing_ outside!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey! His name is Ruff, and he's not a thing! He's a-- he-- he's a-- "
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| '''Ophistus:''' "-- pain-- in the neck! Oh! Oh! No! Oh! Yuck!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' [Interrupting] "Oh, Ruff-- no. Hey, now, calm down, calm down. It's OK. He only does that when he feels threatened. I'll get it _cleaned_ for you."
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| '''Jason:''' "Hey, well, listen, you're gonna have to send it out-- ‘cause the palace laundry burned in the fires."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Well, I'm takin' Ruff with me. "Let's roll."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Jason-- you know that towel that Iolaus used to wipe off that goop that Ruff spit on him?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Come on, buddy."
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| '''Hercules:''' "That was in the laundry that caught on fire, wasn't it?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Yeah, I think so."
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| '''Hercules:''' "And that inn that burnt down, was that the one we had to rescue Ruff from?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Yeah, and there was a fire-- near the well that Ruff fell into."
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| '''Hercules:''' [Sighs] "Listen-- when I was a kid, my mom used to tell me this story about a monster, called a basilisk. OK? It's venom-- could turn a man to ashes."
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| '''Jason:''' "Yeah, I heard that too, but's that's just a legend. Nobody's ever actually seen a basilisk."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh, yeah? I think maybe we just have."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "OK, now I want you two guys to-- ah-- shake hands, OK? Shake hands? Hey."
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| '''Older Boy:''' "My dog can do that."
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| '''Older Boy's Voice:''' "I bet he's not any smarter than a dog-- is he?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I don't know. I haven't asked him."
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| '''Older Boy:''' "My father gave me a dog."
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "Yeah, well, my father gave me a dog, too."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Well-- he didn't, but he-- he-- said he was going to."
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "I guess he just forgot-- huh."
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| '''Man:''' "What kind 'a stain's that? Oh!"
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| '''Woman's:''' "Oh!"
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| '''Man:''' "Oh! Oh-- ah-ah-ahh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! Whoa!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "That venom only hit that cloak, like a couple minutes ago. Looks like it gets stronger as it gets bigger, or something."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "What are you talkin' about? What venom?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "We think that Ruff is a basilisk."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "A basilisk."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yes."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Come on, they don't exist. Ruff's real. He's a-- he's a-- where'd he go?"
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| '''Merchant Woman:''' "Get away from my fruit!" [Screams]
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| '''Hercules:''' "Excuse me-- Miss? There you go."
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| '''Merchant Woman:''' "Why, you-- !"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh-- "
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Ruff! Ruff! Where are you?"
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| '''Strife:''' "Hey-- don't be afraid, little basilisk. We're all friends, here. Ha-ha."
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| '''Discord:''' "Boo!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Over here! Help me with this table!"
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| '''Man's Voice:''' "Water!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh, there he is. OK, Ruff, it's OK, buddy. No, no, no, no, don't leave! Come here! Uh-- hey, little buddy. It's OK. It's OK. It's-- oh! Oh! Ah-- thanks."
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| '''Jason:''' "My pleasure."
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| '''Hercules:''' "More water!"
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| '''Strife:''' "Why is everybody always in such a hurry?!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Strife-- I should 'a known you were behind all this!"
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| '''Strife:''' "And, Discord's behind me. Anybody behind you?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Well, you won't be laughin' when I get through with you."
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| '''Strife:''' "Aah-- n-no-no time for that. You've got bigger fish to fry."
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| '''Discord:''' "And I think I smell them frying right now."
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| '''Strife:''' "Woooh!" [Strife and Dis laugh.]
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| '''Strife:''' "Bang!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh, he's doing it again. Oh! OK, uh-- you don't-- you don't have to be afraid! A-ha. Maybe, I do."
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| '''Jason:''' "Ah. Uh!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hold on. I got a plan. Here we go. Charge!" [Ja, H, and I yell]
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| '''Hercules:''' "Halt! OK. Here it is. Here it is. Ruff? Ruff? Ruff, buddy, this [?] looks good, huh? It looks good. OK, Ruff-- "
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Don't hurt him!"
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| '''Hercules's Voice:''' "It's OK."
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| '''Jason:''' "Get him! Well-- get him lightly!"
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| '''Strife:''' "Whoa-- nice catch, Hercules."
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| '''Strife's Voice:''' "The whole town's a barbecue, and I forget to bring my marshmallows! Guess you weenies'll have to do! Ha-ha!"
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| '''All:''' [Laugh]
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| '''Hercules:''' "All right, Barney [?]."
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| '''Strife:''' "Let's not tell, uh-- Uncle Ares about this, huh? Whaddya say?"
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| '''Discord:''' "Ahhhhhh!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Man, it must really burn Strife to lose to you."
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| '''Hercules:''' "I know. I'n't it great? But he'll be back."
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| '''Villagers:''' "Two. One-- two. One-- two. One-- two. One-- two."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Well-- that's the last 'a the fires!"
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| '''All:''' [Cheer]
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| '''Men's Voices:''' "All right!" "Yeah! Hooray!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Don't worry, good people! The palace will pay to repair the damages!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "All right!"
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| '''Jason:''' "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to do more than just make repairs. As the Crown Prince, I'm gonna have to make sure this doesn't happen again."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Uh-- oh, oh, uh, uh-- we could, uh-- train Ruff to-- just spit goo at Strife. You know, you know? Kinda like a-- guard dog. He could-- guard. He could-- be a-- hmm."
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| '''Jason:''' "No."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I can't keep him, can I?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "I'm sorry."
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| '''Jason:''' "No."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Uh-- I really don't feel right about leavin' Ruff out here by himself. You know? What if he-- he gets caught by a lion, or-or something?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Yeah, he'd turn the lion into toast."
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| '''Hercules:''' "According to the legend, there's basilisks over this rise."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Why hasn't anyone ever seen one, before?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "What if he's all alone? You know? Just a scared little baby. All right-- a-- _loud_, scared little baby."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Doesn't sound like he's gonna be alone."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Well, I guess he'll be happier with his own kind, huh?"
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| '''Hercules's Voice:''' "Goodbye, Ruff."
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| '''Jason's Voice:''' "Take care of yourself."
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "Goodbye, little guy."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Now I know how my mother must have felt when I left home."
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| '''Jason:''' "Yeah-- relieved. Ha-ha. Uh."
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| '''Hercules:''' "He'll be all right. You did the right thing."
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| [[Category:Scripts]] | | [[Category:Scripts]] |
