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| <table width="100%" style="padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color:#DCE3EB;"><TR><TD width="50%" style="text-align:left"> | | <table width="100%" style="padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color:#DCE3EB;"><TR><TD width="50%" style="text-align:left"> |
| '''[[1.23 The Mysteries of Life|« Back to "1.23 The Mysteries of Life"]]'''<td></tr></table> | | '''[[1.23 - The Mysteries of Life|« Back to "1.23 - The Mysteries of Life"]]'''<td></tr></table> |
|
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|
| [TEASER]
| | To Be Added. |
|
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|
| Men's Voices: "Your Highness." "Your Highness." "Greetings,
| | [[Category:Scripts]][[Category:YH Episode Scripts (Novelization)]] |
| Prince Jason!" "Crown Prince-- " "Prince Jason." "Lovely day,
| |
| your Highness." "Look over there! It's him!" "May the gods be
| |
| with you, Prince Jason."
| |
| | |
| H: "Hi, Prince Jason, hi. So let me kiss your feet, baby. Let
| |
| me kiss your feet."
| |
| | |
| I [Interrupting]: "Ah, let me wipe the sweat from your royal
| |
| brow."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "That't funny. That's funny. Ha-ha-ha-- that's funny."
| |
| | |
| H: "Listen, uh-- thank you. Don't you ever get sick of all this
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| constant sucking up, huh?"
| |
| | |
| Man's Voice [In Background]: "Oh, Prince Jason--"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "I can't help it if people love me."
| |
| | |
| I: "Whoa-- obviously, they haven't seen me whip your backside in
| |
| the royal wrestling ring"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "I think your memory's playing tricks on you, Iolaus."
| |
| | |
| H: "All right, you two-- "
| |
| | |
| Barker [Bar]: "Step right right up! Step right up! Ladies and
| |
| gentleman; boys and girls-- see the secrets of the ancient
| |
| world-- laid bare-- the greatest riddles of nature! Revealed.
| |
| All is told. All is shown here! In the the mysteries-- of
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| life!"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Let's go."
| |
| | |
| I: "No, w-w-w-wait! Come on; come on. This sounds kind 'a
| |
| interesting."
| |
| | |
| H: "Oh-- come on-- guys. It's so fake!"
| |
| | |
| Bar: "What's that you say, young man?! A fake? Huh?! You be
| |
| the judge-- huh? The show begins."
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| H [Whispers]: "Sorry."
| |
| | |
| Man's Voice [In Background]: "The Crown Prince!"
| |
| | |
| H [Softly]: "This is such a fake."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Ladies and gentlemen! Feast your eyes. I dare you to
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| call _this_-- a fake."
| |
| | |
| I: "Ruff?"
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| | |
| Man's Voice: "My god!"
| |
| | |
| Woman's Voice: "What _is_ it?!"
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| | |
| I: "Ruff, is that you?"
| |
| | |
| A Man's Voice: "What is that _smell_?!"
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
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| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| [ACT I]
| |
| | |
| I: "Ruff, is that you? Hey-- Ruff. Hey, come here. Hey,
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| buddy, how have you been?"
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Young man! Stay back! I-I beg you! He-he'll tear your
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| head right off! He's a fire-breathing monster!"
| |
| | |
| I: "Come here. Huh? You like that? Huh?"
| |
| | |
| H: It's gotta be Ruff. He remembers him."
| |
| | |
| I: "You know, you've grown. I mean-- you've _grown_. You've
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| grown."
| |
| | |
| Woman's Voice: "Some monster."
| |
| | |
| Man's Voice: "Probably just some guy in a suit. Ha-ha."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Oh, good people! Please! Don't go away! No, wait! Wait
| |
| until you see the amazing three-legged man! Wait!"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Three legs-- big deal. Cheiron's got four."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Just get out! Do you hear me?! You've _completely_
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| destroyed my matinee performance."
| |
| | |
| I: "He is sick. What have you done to him?"
| |
| | |
| Bar: "What's it to you? He's mine! I can do with him what I
| |
| want! Now, just get out! Come on!"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Two-on-one-- that's not very nice, is it?"
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Hey, Sonny!"
| |
| | |
| H: "Hey, hey-- hey-- hey-- now, just watch what you say, OK?
| |
| You just happen to be talking to the Crown Prince of Corinth."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Oh, yeah? And I'm the son 'a Zeus." [Chuckles]
| |
| | |
| H: "Are you the son 'a Zeus?" [Chuckles]
| |
| | |
| Bar: "You go _no_ right to come in here and destroy _my_ show!"
| |
| | |
| I: "Look at him! He's wasting away!"
| |
| | |
| H: "He's right, you know. He doesn't look all that good."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "The creature-- is fine-- a little under the _weather_,
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| maybe-- the _humidity_. Besides-- he's spent his whole _life_ in
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| captivity. I hatched him, myself-- from an egg given to me by
| |
| the king of Thrace! Who just happens to be one of my _biggest_
| |
| fans!"
| |
| | |
| I: "You liar! He didn't hatch from an egg! If you really
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| raises him, you'd _know_ that! _We_ raised him. _We_ set him
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| free! Look at him! Jason-- we can't keep him here."
| |
| | |
| Ja [Sighs]: "All right, how much do you want?"
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Sell my star attraction?! I have an _obligation_ to my
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| public! And _who'll_ pay to see some 800 pound man _or_
| |
| medusa?!"
| |
| | |
| H: "You've got Medusa?"
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| | |
| Bar: "Well, she _calls_ herself Medusa-- between you and me, I
| |
| think the snakes are rubber. Anyway-- whatever! Sell the
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| monster? No."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Sorry, buddy, there's nothin' we can do."
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| | |
| Bar: "You heard your friend-- out!"
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| | |
| I: "You lousy-- !"
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| | |
| Bar: "You wanna piece of me?"
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| | |
| I: "Yeah!"
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| | |
| Bar: "You wanna piece of me?!"
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| | |
| H: "Whoa, whoa, now, there's no need to get violent. OK? And
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| _no_ need to get ugly."
| |
| | |
| I: "Yeah, like he can help it."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Take him-- and go. Quiet! You wanna shut him up?
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| [Chuckles] Go on. Hmm."
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| I's Voice: "I can't stand seeing Ruff like that."
| |
| | |
| H: "I know that you're upset, OK?"
| |
| | |
| I: "If you looked into his eyes, you'd be upset, too. You know,
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| when he stared at me through the bars of that cage, he-- he
| |
| looked so sad. He looked so scared."
| |
| | |
| H: "You're still thinkin' of him as a baby-- you know? But,
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| listen, even back then, he was a handful."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Yeah, now he's a dangerous animal."
| |
| | |
| I: "He is _not_ an animal! OK, he's an animal, but if _we_
| |
| don't get him out of there, he's gonna die. I know he will."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Look, I could shut the show down, but the barker would just
| |
| go somewhere else and take Ruff with him. For all we know-- they
| |
| might be leavin' town tonight."
| |
| | |
| I: "Fine-- then I'm gonna go over right now-- and I'm getting
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| him out of there."
| |
| | |
| H: "Whoa, oh-- Iolaus-- ho-- "
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Uh, Hercules-- you can't stop him."
| |
| | |
| H: "I know. Maybe I can keep him from gettin' hurt-- and make
| |
| sure Ruff's OK."
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| I [Whispers]: "Pssst. Hey. Ruff. Ruff, wake up."
| |
| | |
| H [Whispers]: "Hey-- whoa, whoa."
| |
| | |
| I: "Shh."
| |
| | |
| H: "Shh, shh. [Whispers]: "Where do you think he keeps the
| |
| keys?"
| |
| | |
| I [Softly]: "I have no idea."
| |
| | |
| H [Whispers]: "Hi."
| |
| | |
| I [Softly]: "But I do have a plan. Wait there."
| |
| | |
| H [Whispers]: "Hey, hey, hey, hey-- "
| |
| | |
| I: "No, no, no, I was-- thinking of Ruff."
| |
| | |
| H [Softly]: "Thinking of Ruff. Whoa, hold on-- wait a second.
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| Are we sure we know what we're doing?"
| |
| | |
| I: "Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can handle him."
| |
| | |
| H: "OK. Hold on a second. Now why doesn't that make me feel
| |
| better?"
| |
| | |
| I [Whispers]: "I don't know."
| |
| | |
| H [Whispers]: "OK."
| |
| | |
| I [Softly]: "Hold this. Hey, buddy. Look-- I got you
| |
| something-- huh? Good. You see that? They obviously don't feed
| |
| him enough. If we don't get him out of here-- he's gonna die.
| |
| Melon."
| |
| | |
| H: "Melon."
| |
| | |
| I: "Blanket."
| |
| | |
| H: "Blanket."
| |
| | |
| I: "OK-- don't worry, little buddy."
| |
| | |
| H: "Don't worry, little buddy."
| |
| | |
| I: "I'm gonna get you outta here."
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| H's Voice: "Hey, Iolaus-- where're we going?"
| |
| | |
| I's Voice: "Don't worry, Herc, I know a hiding place when I used
| |
| to run with the Loax gang. Ruff will be safe here."
| |
| | |
| I: "OK. OK, we gotta stop. Oh, he's about ten time heavier
| |
| than he used to be."
| |
| | |
| H: "Yeah-- and about ten times smellier."
| |
| | |
| I: "Hey, boy-- you're out of that bad place, now. You remember
| |
| how to shake hands? Shake hands? [Laughs] Look. I taught him
| |
| that. Oh. Ooh. Oh, that does not smell good. Uh, I hope we
| |
| got him out of there in time."
| |
| | |
| H: "He just needs some fresh air-- you know? Some room to run?
| |
| A couple days out in the wilderness? Back to his old self."
| |
| | |
| I: "Yeah. What is it, boy? Huh? Oh, man. We didn't take off
| |
| the muzzle. It must be driving him crazy. Here-- hold this."
| |
| | |
| H: "Listen, I-I really don't think we should, OK? I mean, he-he
| |
| does breathe fire."
| |
| | |
| I: "Come on-- just for a minute. We'll put it back on when we
| |
| leave-- promise. Besides-- I-I-I don't think he does that
| |
| anymore-- you know-you know? I think he grew out of it. Hey--
| |
| didn't you? You don't spit fireballs-- yeah. Whoa! Whoa!"
| |
| | |
| H: "I'm gonna take that as a big, fat no."
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| [ACT II]
| |
| | |
| Man: [Screams]
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| Soldier: "Get back! You peasants!"
| |
| | |
| Woman: "Go on! Get off! Get off the house! [?]"
| |
| | |
| Man: "He burned my house down!"
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Never should've let you go there without me!"
| |
| | |
| I: "Aw, gee, Dad, you think you could 'a done better?!"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "No! But the muzzle would still be on and Ruff wouldn't be
| |
| out there-- burnin' people's farms down!"
| |
| | |
| I: "You can't blame Ruff! He's just a scared animal-- and he
| |
| only spits fire when he feels threatened!"
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| | |
| Ja: "I don't blame Ruff. I don't blame you either, anymore than
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| I blame myself."
| |
| | |
| H: "Let's just look at the bright side, OK, guys? At least Ruff
| |
| hasn't hurt anybody, right? Well, not yet?"
| |
| | |
| Guard's Voice: "You can't go in there!"
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Outta my way, lackey! So-- you really _are_ the Crown
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| Prince."
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| | |
| Ja: "What do you want?"
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| | |
| Bar: "That riff-raff out there may think it's my fault that the
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| beast is running loose. I came here to assure _you_ that it's
| |
| not. But I see you've already captured the _scum_ that did it."
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| | |
| I: "Well, if I'm scum, what does that make _you_, ya low-life?!"
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| | |
| H: "Iolaus-- it's all right. It's not worth it."
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| | |
| Bar: "The creature was going to make me a _show-biz_ legend.
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| And if those rabble-- do _anything_ to him-- "
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| | |
| I: "What do you mean, `Do anything'?"
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| | |
| Bar: "They're going to hunt him down."
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| | |
| Man: "Kill the beast! Let's kill the beast!" [Yells]
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| | |
| Ja: "I'll try and stop them. If you want Ruff captured alive,
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| you'll get to him first."
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| I: "Ruff will hear `em comin' a mile away, won't he?"
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| | |
| H [Sighs]: "Yeah, uh-- listen, let's try this way, OK?"
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| | |
| Ja's Voice: "This way, men."
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| | |
| Bar: "Don't worry! The show _will_ go on." [Chuckles]
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| I: "He's probably lookin' for food."
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| | |
| H: "Or water. He's gotta get pretty dry, spittin' fireballs and
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| all."
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| Man: "Look! Look! The path of the monster! Come on!"
| |
| | |
| Men's Voices: "Yeah!" "Let's get it!"
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| Soldier: "Here, Sire!"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Good."
| |
| | |
| Soldier: "We should go first, your Grace-- in case we meet the
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| monster. This way."
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| Ja: "You-- "
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| | |
| Bar: "You know, I'd-- hoped you were a little smarter than the
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| common herd. They're all following a false trail laid by my,
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| uh-- associate."
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| | |
| Ja: "What are ya talkin' about?"
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| | |
| Bar: "Oh, I have no more desire to see them destroy the beast
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| than you. After all, he's my ticket to the big time. But I
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| wouldn't worry-- they won't succeed."
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| | |
| Ja: "Hey!"
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Neither will you." [Laughs]
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| H: "What are we gonna do when we find him?"
| |
| | |
| I: "Well, uh-- I'll just call him-- and then I'll, uh muzzle
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| him."
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| | |
| H: "Well-- I hope he recognizes you, you know? He's probably
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| pretty panicked."
| |
| | |
| I: "It's like a boy and his dog. He'll know me."
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| | |
| H: "Whoa, whoa-- hold on. Incoming!" [Yells]
| |
| | |
| I: "Ruff! It's us! Where is he? Where'd he go? I think he's
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| over here. Ruff! Ruff, it's me!"
| |
| | |
| H: "A boy and his dog, huh?"
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Oh-h-h, when I get that _thing_ back, no attraction in the
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| _world_ will be its equal. Kings will _beg_ me to appear. Gods
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| will de-_mand_ a showing. I will be known-- as the greatest
| |
| showman in the-- quiet! If the monster hears us, it'll _ruin_
| |
| everything. He may be an ugly brute-- but he's cunning. Why-- I
| |
| remember a time when-- what _are_ you going on about?! Down!
| |
| Ha-- to the pit! Ah-- we've been waiting for you! Haven't we,
| |
| Prince Jason? Uh-oh!"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Nice try, Ruff."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Temper, temper! You know how _hard_ it is for you to
| |
| breathe when you shoot those things straight up."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "You won't get away with this."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "He'll tire himself out-- it's just a matter of time before
| |
| we can get close enough and-- put the muzzle [on him]. Oh, um--
| |
| as he weakens, uh, he will become a little, um-- _peckish_.
| |
| Regrettably, you're the only food he can reach-- yet. But-- you
| |
| can't make a mousaka without crackin' a few eggs, huh? Ha-ha.
| |
| Just think how much people will pay to see the monster that ate
| |
| the Crown Prince of Corinth! Ha-ha-ha-ha."
| |
| | |
| H: "They won't get the chance."
| |
| | |
| I: "No, no. I got him."
| |
| | |
| H: "No, Iolaus, listen-- "
| |
| | |
| I [Interrupting]: "No, no, no, I got him."
| |
| | |
| H: "OK."
| |
| | |
| I: "OK, thanks."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Missed me, missed me! Ha-ha!"
| |
| | |
| I: "Ow-w-w. Ow!"
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Iolaus, thanks for droppin' in."
| |
| | |
| [H fights Bar briefly.]
| |
| | |
| H: "What the freak was that?"
| |
| | |
| I: "Uh-- uh-- uh, hey, boy! Uh, d-d'you-d'you remember me?
| |
| Hey-- it's Iolaus. Hi. Uh-- d'you-d'you wanna-- wanna shake--
| |
| shake-- shake hands? Come on. Shake hands. Sh-- shake hands.
| |
| Good boy . OK. All right. All right. No one's gonna hurt you
| |
| anymore. You know? I think you would have been OK. I think he
| |
| kinda likes ya."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Yeah, medium rare."
| |
| | |
| I: "Come on-- I think he's a vegetarian."
| |
| | |
| Bar: "Gentlemen. Gentlemen. I-I-I got the circuit all worked
| |
| out. The way you handle him-- "
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Don't even try it."
| |
| | |
| I: "Yeah, I said I _think_ he's a vegetarian."
| |
| | |
| H's Voice: "You guys OK?"
| |
| | |
| I's Voice: "Yeah! We're fine!"
| |
| | |
| H's Voice: "I'll toss you a rope! Sit tight!"
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| -------------------------------
| |
| | |
| I's Voice: "This is a really nice island. Now, you said-- no
| |
| hunters are allowed-- right?"
| |
| | |
| H: "Yeah-- i-it's kinda like a sanctuary."
| |
| | |
| I: "Think he'll be OK? Hey."
| |
| | |
| H: "Kora says that this land is very sacred to Artemis."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "Kora?"
| |
| | |
| H: "Yeah."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "What does she have to do with Artemis?"
| |
| | |
| H: "Uh-- that's a good question. I don't know."
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| | |
| I: "Sounds silly, but, uh-- I think I'm gonna miss him."
| |
| | |
| H: "It's not silly at all."
| |
| | |
| Ja: "See you back at the boat."
| |
| | |
| [[Category:Scripts]] | |
