Forgery Shooting Draft

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Forgery

Episode #16
Production #V0816

Written by: Mark Edens

Directed by: Andrew Merrifield

Shooting Draft - June 18, 1998
Pages 7, 9-10, 12, 15-15A, 22-23-24 - June 01, 1998
Pages 9-9A - June 02, 1998
Pages 2, 4, 22-23-24 - June 09, 1998
Page 8 - June 10, 1998

Pacific Island Pictures, LTD, All Rights Reserved © 1998

Cast List

Hercules
Jason
Iolaus - (ee-OH-lus)
Cheiron - (KI-ron)
Kora
Hephaestus - (he-FESS-tuss)
Lilith
Corinth Girl #1
Corinth Girl #2
Chariot Driver
Chorus
Tavern Maid (Non-speaking)
+ Band of Three Bored Musicians (Non-speaking) *

(missing Set List)

Teaser

FADE IN:

EXT. KORA'S INN - DAY

A MAN ON HORSEBACK is picking up some food to go at the inn's drive-in window. KORA hands him a meal in a sack.

KORA

Enjoy your meal. Have a nice day.

The man rides away. Looking out through the window, we see the next customer "drive" up: IOLAUS.

KORA

Take your order?

IOLAUS

How about taking the day off instead? We're going to Corinth to have some fun -- why don't you come along?

Kora leans out the window and sees Iolaus' "horse": he's riding on a plank carried on the shoulders of HERCULES and JASON.

KORA

I bet all three of you wanted to be the horse's rear end.

Hercules and Jason dump Iolaus off the plank.

JASON

Come with us, Kora -- we'll have a great time. Even Hercules is gonna have fun, if he remembers how.

HERCULES

Hey, I'm not going. I told you, I have to help Hephaestus today.

JASON

He's a god, Herc -- he can help himself.

HERCULES

He's my half-brother, and I promised to give him a hand.

KORA

Too bad Hercules won't be along to chaperone. If he was, I would've gone.

Kora moves away from the window, disappearing.

IOLAUS

Way to go, Herc. Couldn't you at least let her think you were going?

HERCULES

She wasn't going to go --

IOLAUS

If you're ever on fire, Jason, just wrap Hercules around you.

(in Hercules' face)

Wet blanket.

HERCULES

I am not.

JASON

You're not exactly the life of the party.

A horn blows, interrupting. They turn and see a chariot waiting behind them, with a gruff, tough, grizzled old CHARIOT DRIVER blowing on a hunting horn.

CHARIOT DRIVER

Move it, you pups -- make way! Doesn't that four-legged freak Cheiron teach you little boys manners?

JASON
(a challenge)

Maybe you'd like to try to teach us a lesson?

The chariot driver grabs the handle of his sword.

CHARIOT DRIVER

Nice people take turns.

(pulls sword most of the way out of scabbard)

Who wants to go first?

HERCULES

Come on, guys -- let's get outta here.

Hercules hauls Jason and Iolaus away, around the corner of the building. The Chariot Driver drives up to the window. Kora appears.

KORA

Can I take your order?

Iolaus slips along the wall of the inn, to the corner behind the chariot, carrying a rope. Jason and Hercules follow him, curious.

IOLAUS

That loud-mouth said we were little boys. So let's play.

HERCULES

What are you doing?

IOLAUS

I'm gonna take that bully's wheels right out from under him.

(he gives Hercules one end of the rope)

Here -- tie this to a tree.

Paying rope out behind him, Iolaus slips around the corner of the buildings and creeps toward the back of the chariot. He ties the rope to the back of the chariot. Then he slips away. Kora appears in the window and gives the Chariot Driver a sack.

KORA

Enjoy your meal. Have a nice day.

Jason and Hercules are waiting around the corner. Hercules is still holding the end of the rope.

IOLAUS

You didn't tie the rope to anything!

HERCULES

I'm not going to do that.

Iolaus snatches the rope from Hercules' hand

IOLAUS

You afraid it might be fun?

Jason looks and sees the Chariot Driver reach for his horse whip to get his chariot moving. Jason frowns at Iolaus (holding rope.)

JASON

Uh, Iolaus...

But Iolaus is going on at Herc and not hearing Jason.

IOLAUS

That big lump pulled his sword on us! You afraid to pay him back?

The Chariot Driver whips his horses, and the chariot takes off.

JASON

Iolaus...

Iolaus, still confrontational, finally turns to Jason.

IOLAUS

What?!

The rope jerks taut. Iolaus is yanked off his feet and dragged away, yelping with surprise. Hercules and Jason give each other a quick look, then speed off after him.

HERCULES
(calling)

Iolaus!

FADE OUT.

Act One

FADE IN:

EXT. WOODS - DAY

Hercules and Jason are looking around for Iolaus.

HERCULES

Iolaus!

JASON

How far do you think he got before he remembered to let go of the rope?

They hear a GROAN nearby.

HERCULES

About that far.

They help Iolaus out of some bushes.

IOLAUS

If you'd tied the rope to a tree like I told you, this wouldn't have happened.

HERCULES

Yeah -- and you would've wrecked that guy's chariot, just because you didn't like the way he talked to us!

JASON

I bet he'd be more polite next time.

IOLAUS

It was a trick, Herc -- a joke. Where's your sense of humor?

HERCULES

You can't do whatever you want, just because it's fun.

IOLAUS

It's an approach to life. Try it some time.

HERCULES

Why don't you try being responsible?

JASON
(to Hercules)

Why don't you lighten up? Let's have some fun, while we're still young.

IOLAUS

I'm not going to change when I get old. I'll still be having fun when I'm thirty.

JASON

If we don't get moving, we'll be thirty before we get to Corinth.

(to Hercules)

Last chance to come with us.

HERCULES

I promised Hephaestus I'd help him.

IOLAUS
(sarcastically)

Have fun.

Iolaus laughs as he and Jason head off down the road to Corinth. Hercules watches them for a moment, wistfully: part of him would like to be as carefree as Iolaus. He signs, then turns and walks away, following his own path.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. VOLCANO - DAY

Smoke rises from a smoldering volcanic peak. Sounds of a HAMMER SMITING METAL.

INT. CAVE - DAY

HEPHAESTUS works beside a forge fed by a fire issuing from a fissure in the floor of the cave. Sparks fly as he pounds a sword blade with a hammer, shaping it over an anvil. Hercules works beside him, pumping a bellows to make the fire hotter.

HERCULES

Do you think I'm dull, Hephaestus?

HEPHAESTUS

We can't all be exciting.

Hercules stops pumping: it's clear that Hephaestus does think he's dull. Hephaestus talks as he works: he strikes the blade, turns it, strikes again, slowly, unhurriedly.

HEPHAESTUS

You and I are the same. We're like hammers. Heavy. Strong. Reliable.

HERCULES

And dull.

HEPHAESTUS
(pausing in his work)

Some people have a fire inside them. They take everything life has to offer -- devour it like a flame burns wood.

(he looks at Hercules)

Zeus is like that.

HERCULES
(curious)

Really?!

(thinks about it)

Maybe that's why he's never shown any interest in me. Because we're so different.

Hephaestus grunts noncommittally and goes back to work.

HERCULES

Maybe he'd notice me if I were more like him... What if that's how he wants us to be?

Hephaestus thrusts the blade into the flames.

HEPHAESTUS

I tried to change once. This fire here -- it comes straight from the heart of the Earth. It can melt you inside. Make you new. I asked it to come into my heart and make me a warrior, like Hera wanted me to be.

HERCULES

Did it work?

HEPHAESTUS

I didn't like it. Couldn't get any work done.

Hephaestus thrusts the blade into a barrel of water: steam HISSES as the metal cools, tempers.

HEPHAESTUS

Always work to do. Poseidon wants me to make him an anchor. You'd think he'd have enough of those already.

Hephaestus sets the blade aside -- it's done -- and limps away.

HEPHAESTUS

I've got some pig iron around here somewhere. If I can remember where I put it. Here, pig, pig, pig, pig.

Hephaestus wanders off, looking for his missing iron. Hercules' eyes are drawn to the fire in the forge.

HERCULES

I want to change. I want to be the son my father wants.

He begins pumping the bellows. The flames shoot up, higher and higher.

HERCULES

I want to devour life, like Zeus -- like there's a fire inside me.

The firelight gleams in his eyes, brightly, eerily. He stares into the fire as if in a trance. Suddenly the fire leaps out of the forge and swirls around him...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. A CORINTH INN - DAY

A hearth fire in the inn. A BAND OF THREE BORED MUSICIANS plays on in the b.g. At a nearby table, Jason and Iolaus sit with two CORINTH GIRLS, dressed-up sophisticated teenagers from the "big city". The Girls are giving all their attention to Jason, much to the annoyance of Iolaus. One Girl puts her hand on Jason's forearm.

CORINTH GIRL #1

I’ve always wanted to work in the palace.

Jealous, Iolaus looks at the other Girl.

IOLAUS

You know, I might be a king some day.

CORINTH GIRL #2

Oh, yeah? Where?

IOLAUS

I'm still looking for the right kingdom.

CORINTH GIRL #2

Let me know when you find it.

The Girl turns back to Jason, turning her back on Iolaus. Suddenly someone bursts through the door of the inn. It's Hercules -- a fiery-eyed, exaggeratedly "up" version of Hercules.

HERCULES

Is it hit in here, or is it just me?!

JASON

Hercules!

A TAVERN MAID carrying a heavy tray of dishes, walks by Herc, he deftly lifts them from her hands. She reacts with surprise, pleased.

HERCULES
(small bow; all charm)

Allow me. No one so beautiful should work so hard.

The Tavern Maid blanches, smiles coyly.

JASON
(to Iolaus)

What's gotten into him?

In a deft move, Hercules spins to the end of the counter, placing the full tray on the end and sliding it fast towards the other end -- where a surprised BUS BOY catches it. Hercules turns and walks over to Jason and Iolaus' table.

IOLAUS

What are you doing here, Herc?

JASON

What about Hephaestus?

HERCULES

Hephaestus! He's no fun!

Hercules eases between the two GIRLS, a hand gently on each one's cheek.

HERCULES

Why would I waste time with a god, when I can come here and meet goddesses?

He makes a deft move, gently picking up the Corinth Girl #2 by her hand and dance-spinning her into his arms, into a clinch. She squeals, surprised, but she likes it.

HERCULES

Thanks for keeping my chair warm.

He spins her back, gently dropping her onto Iolaus' knee.

HERCULES

Now keep Iolaus warm. He's a big hero - the champion of Cheiron's Academy!

The girl looks at Iolaus with surprise.

CORINTH GIRL #2

I thought you were lying about that.

Hercules bursts out laughing and sits in the empty chair where Corinth Girl #2 had been sitting.

JASON

Are you all right, Herc? You seem different all of a sudden.

HERCULES

I am different! I'm ready to set the world on fire!

Hercules grabs a joint of meat in each hand from the plates of Jason and Iolaus and holds them up in the air.

HERCULES

Food for everybody!

The whole room cheers. Hercules tosses a joint of meat across the room: a Customer eagerly catches it on his empty plate. But now the meat is black, scorched, smoldering. The customer looks puzzled.

EXT. KORA'S INN - NIGHT

The inn is closed. Sounds of off-key singing, a whoop, laughter. Hercules, Jason, and Iolaus are returning from Corinth, followed by a "CHORUS" of Herc's new friends, including at least one of the Musicians from Corinth, still playing. Iolaus wears a Carmen Miranda hat, like a basket of fruit on his head. Hercules is riding on Jason's shoulders; Herc is wearing snake skin and playing the maracas. Jason is staggering.

JASON

I give up, Herc! You win!

HERCULES

No! I said all the way to Kora's Inn! Come on -- you can do it!

IOLAUS

If he makes it, I'll eat my hat!

HERCULES & THE CHORUS
(chanting)

Go! Go! Go! Go!

INT. KORA'S INN - NIGHT

Kora is finishing shutting down for the night. She hears the CHANTING and pauses, frowning.

KORA

Who's out there this late?

The front door bursts open as Jason, with Herc still on his shoulders, collapses to the floor, both guys sprawling:

HERCULES

You did it!

Iolaus steps in right behind them. He looks down at the two of them on the floor, whooping in triumph, then looks sadly at his hat.

IOLAUS
(groaning)

I don't think I can eat this hat.

Herc and Jason stumble to their feet as their "Chorus" stumbles into the inn.

HERCULES

That's all right -- I'll eat it.

IOLAUS

Hey, Jason -- you wanna bet me he can't?

JASON

Not after what he did with that ox!

A LOUD BURP from Hercules, followed by more laughter. Hercules gets to his feet, juggling fruit.

HERCULES

You should've come to Corinth with us, Kora!

He tosses the fruit to the Chorus, except one apple, which he tries to devour with a single bite.

HERCULES
(with his mouth full)

You missed all the fun!

Kora is on the other side of the bar area, wiping it off.

KORA

I'll try to go on living.

Hercules leaps onto the bar, drops to his knees, close to her, and cradles her face in his hands, as if preparing for a kiss.

HERCULES

Let's go back to Corinth -- right now!

KORA

Let's not.

Kora gives Herc a shove. He flips back off of the bar and deftly lands on his feet, grinning.

HERCULES

I like 'em sassy!

JASON

Hercules!

CHORUS
(chanting)

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Jason and Iolaus step up to Herc.

IOLAUS

Wait a minute, Herc!

JASON

You're getting carried away.

HERCULES

No -- she is!

Hercules laughs and lunges for Kora, but she grabs his wrists and tries to shut him down, trying to be serious.

KORA

What's the matter with you?! It's like it's not you anymore!

HERCULES

Maybe I decided to be somebody else!

KORA

Yeah? Well, try being somewhere else!

She shoves him away.

HERCULES

There's plenty of girls in Corinth! Come on -- let's go!

JASON

Are you crazy? We just came from Corinth.

IOLAUS

We've got a work-out at the academy in a couple hours.

HERCULES

Wet blankets! You forget how to have fun?!

JASON

Come on, Herc -- we've been up all night.

IOLAUS

We've had enough fun.

They start to walk past him toward the open door. Hercules grabs them and shoves them back, rough-housing. They don't like it.

HERCULES

You can never have enough fun!

(to the chorus)

Right, guys?!

CHORUS
(chanting)

Go! Go! Go! Go!

IOLAUS

I'm going to bed.

He starts past again, toward the door. Hercules grabs him, but Iolaus jerks free, angrily, and walks on.

JASON

What's wrong with you?

Jason walks away, following Iolaus. Hercules stares after them.

HERCULES

There's nothing wrong with me! I'm exactly who I wanna be!

Perspiration gleams on his flushed skin, he's panting for breath, and firelight gleams in his eyes -- though there is no fire.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - NIGHT

Establishing. The dark buildings, the sleeping dormitory.

INT. ACADEMY DORM - CONTINUOUS

Hercules tosses and turns on his bunk, eyes closed, feverish, drenched in sweat, trying to sleep. A flame appears bursting from his fingers, but he doesn't wake up. He moves restlessly, and his hand touches the mattress. Suddenly the flame spreads -- Hercules' bunk is enveloped in swirling flames.

FADE OUT.

Act Two

FADE IN:

INT. ACADEMY DORM - CONTINUOUS

LILITH wakes up as smoke swirls near her.

LILITH
(realizing; alarmed)

Fire?

She leaps/stumbles out of bed, holding her blanket, and is amazed to see a mattress (Herc's) engulfed in flames. As she beats down the fire with her blanket, we realize (but she doesn't see) that there is a silent figure standing off to the side, watching.

LILITH
(exertion)

Somebody get some water.

The figure is Hercules. He's motionless, in a kind of trance, his eyes red, gleaming feverish in the firelight.

LILITH
(yells)

Isn't anybody awake?!

Hercules suddenly snaps out of it. He sees Lilith finishing beating out the mattress and steps over to help.

HERCULES

Uh, thanks, Lilith!

(grabs smoking mattress)

I don't know how it got started.

LILITH

Where were you?

HERCULES

Looking for a water bucket. Hungry?

LILITH

Huh?

INT. ACADEMY DINING HALL - DAY

Jason and Iolaus sit droopy and half-asleep before bowls of oatmeal. Students are eating at tables around them.

IOLAUS

Why does Cheiron think everybody should eat oats?

JASON

It's a Centaur thing.

Hercules sits across the table from them, devouring the last of his bowl of oatmeal.

HERCULES

Are you gonna eat that?

He scoops up a huge dollop of oatmeal from Iolaus' bowl -- with his hand - and dumps it into his bowl. Then he starts gulping it down.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ACADEMY TRAINING HALL - DAY

Hercules works out with padded spears with Jason and Iolaus, doing a half-speed drill practicing defending yourself from two attackers. They go through the moves, the spears clacking together as they thrust and parry -- but suddenly Hercules attacks at full speed, sweeping Jason off his feet with a padded end of the spear then turning on Iolaus and shoving him backwards so that he falls down.

HERCULES

I win!

(a whoop of triumph)

I'm hot today!

JASON

This is a drill, Herc!

IOLAUS

We're supposed to be going at half speed!

HERCULES

Half speed is boring. This whole academy is boring!

Hercules throws his spear at a wooden fight dummy. The spear hits the dummy's shield and makes the dummy spin around. Laughing, Hercules scoops up a dipper of water from a water jar and gulps a drink -- but spews it out again, as if it tasted terrible. Jason and Iolaus come over as Hercules throws the dipper away.

IOLAUS

Hercules.

Hercules stalks out, ignoring him. Lilith joins them.

LILITH

What's wrong with Hercules? His bunk caught on fire this morning.

IOLAUS

There's been something weird going on with him ever since he came back from helping Hephaestus.

JASON

It's time Herc told us what it is. Come on.

They head outside.

INT ACADEMY STABLE - DAY

Hercules is trying to get a horse from its stall, but the horse is shying away from him, neighing and snorting wildly.

JASON

What's he so afraid of, Hercules?

Hercules turns and sees Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith in the stable door.

JASON

There's something wrong with you -- that horse can sense it.

HERCULES

I'll walk.

Hercules starts for the door. Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith spread out, blocking his way,

IOLAUS

You're not yourself anymore, Herc.

HERCULES

I'm the son of Zeus -- that's who I am! And I'm through wasting my time in the academy! I want to set the world on fire!

He starts past them. Jason puts a restraining hand on his shoulder --

JASON

Hercules --

-- but jerks it away with a yelp of pain. As Hercules walks on, Iolaus jumps on his back.

IOLAUS

Let's discuss this like responsible --

But he too has to let go and jump back with a yelp of pain. Iolaus's clothes are smoldering.

IOLAUS

It's like he's on fire!

JASON

We have to stop him!

Jason grabs a horse blanket and wraps it around his arm. Lilith grabs a rope and lassoes Hercules as he reaches the door. Hercules looks back at her. Flames appear where the rope touches his body, then run down the rope toward Lilith. She lets go, as the rope disintegrates into ashes. Iolaus grabs a staff and blocks Hercules' way.

IOLAUS

This is for your own good.

Iolaus swings the staff. Hercules catches it in his hand. Flames run from Hercules' hand down the staff, forcing Iolaus to let go. Hercules tosses the staff aside. Jason steps up and tries to punch Hercules with his blanket-wrapped hand. Hercules deflects the punch, and the blanket bursts into flames. Jason puts his arm in a watering trough, extinguishing the flames. Lilith puts a rolling tackle on Hercules, knocking him off his feet. Iolaus grabs a chain.

IOLAUS

This won't burn!

He tries to wrap the chain around Hercules' ankle. Hercules grabs the chain and jerks Iolaus off his feet. Hercules leaps up, tosses the chain out the stable door, and stands over Iolaus with his fist raised. Fire blazes in Hercules' eyes: he seems completely demented.

HERCULES

Let's really have some fun!

Hercules' fist erupts into flames. He pushes his flaming fist toward Iolaus.

LILITH

No, Hercules! He's your friend!

Hercules pauses. The read gleam in his eyes flickers, and for a moment he's almost normal.

HERCULES

Iolaus...

Hercules looks at his fist, and the flames die.

HERCULES

Stay away from me! All of you!

Hercules runs out of the stable.

EXT CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - DAY

Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith run out of the stable. Hercules has disappeared.

JASON

Last night he wanted to go back to Corinth. If that's where he's heading, then maybe we can catch him.

IOLAUS

And do what? Let him turn us into toast?

LILITH

You said he was okay till he was with Hephaestus. Maybe he can tell us what's wrong with Hercules.

JASON

It's worth a try -- if we can reach him.

(calling)

IOLAUS

Hephaestus! We need you!

Hephaestus appears beside them, holding his hammer. He's a bit annoyed.

HEPHAESTUS

Why does somebody always call when you're in the middle of something?

JASON

We need your help, Hephaestus. There's something wrong with Hercules.

HEPHAESTUS

He was all right yesterday.

(frowning)

Sure left in a hurry, though. Didn't say good-bye...

JASON

Did something happen while he was with you? Something that could've changed him?

IOLAUS

It's like there's a fire inside him.

HEPHAESTUS
(worried)

No -- he wouldn't be that reckless...

JASON

What?

HEPHAESTUS

The fire from the forge where we were working. The gods can use it to change their hearts -- but Hercules is half-mortal.

LILITH

What would it do to him?

HEPHAESTUS

It would change him too, for a while. Then it would burn him to ashes.

Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith look at each other.

JASON

We've got to put that fire out!

HEPHAESTUS

We need water -- a lot of it.

Jason grabs the chain that Iolaus tried to use in the fight with Hercules.

JASON

The road to Corinth goes past the lake. Come on!

He takes off running. Iolaus and Lilith start after him.

EXT. LAKE - DAY

Hercules walks rapidly along the path by the lake shore. Hephaestus appears in front of him, with his hammer in his hand.

HEPHAESTUS

I need some help, Hercules. There's work to be done.

HERCULES

No work for me! Just play!

A ball of flames appears in Hercules' hand.

HERCULES

How about a game of catch?

He hurls the ball of fire at Hephaestus. Hephaestus hits the ball with his hammer, and it shatters into sparks.

HERCULES

I'm like Zeus now! I've got a fire inside me!

Iolaus, Lilith, and Jason are slipping up behind Hercules, carrying the chain.

JASON
(quietly)

We'll have to drag him into the water.

Hercules suddenly turns and waves his hand, and a wall of flames appears between him and Jason.

HERCULES

It won't work, Jason!

They drop the chain and stagger back.

IOLAUS

The fire's burning you up, Herc!

LILITH

You've got to fight it!

HERCULES

I don't want to fight it! It feels good!

JASON
(quietly, to Iolaus)

Pretend you can't swim.

IOLAUS

What?

Jason shoves Iolaus into the lake. Splash.

LILITH

What are you doing, Jason?!

JASON

Iolaus is his friend!

Iolaus thrashes in the water.

IOLAUS

Help! I can't swim!

Lilith starts toward the water, but Jason holds her back.

JASON
(sotto, to Lilith)

No! Hercules has to save him!

Jason falls to the ground, holding his ankle.

JASON

Ow! My ankle!

The wall of flames disappears as Hercules takes a hesitant step toward the lake.

HERCULES

Iolaus!

Hercules is fighting with himself: He grimaces and looks down at the water.

HERCULES

I can't. It would put out the fire.

JASON

Fight it, Hercules! Don't let the fire win!

Hercules stares at his fiery hands. He starts to shake, fighting the power inside him.

HERCULES

I... can't...

In the lake, Iolaus struggles and thrashes hard.

IOLAUS
(COUGHS, SPLUTTERS)

Somebody help me!

Jason looks up from holding his "twisted" ankle.

JASON
(to himself; impressed)

He's good!

CLOSE ON HERC, grimacing, eyes squeezes shut, squirming as he fights the fire inside him.

HERCULES

I can't! I can't!

A beat, then he calms. He opens his eyes and we see the gleam of fire in Herc's eyes fade away. With a determined look, he runs to the water and dives in. Hephaestus limps over to Jason and Lilith as they all watch anxiously. Jason scrambles back to his feet, ankle fine.

HEPHAESTUS

You knew Hercules would save him.

JASON

Even the fire couldn't change him that much.

Hercules drags Iolaus out of the water. Jason and Lilith wade into the water and help Hercules and Iolaus out. Iolaus is coughing and spluttering.

HERCULES

Why did you push Iolaus into the water? He could've drowned!

LILITH

That sounds like the old Hercules.

JASON

Iolaus was just pretending he couldn't swim.

IOLAUS

Pretending nothing! I can't swim!

JASON

Oops.

Hephaestus steps up to Herc (hand on his shoulder?)

HEPHAESTUS

I'm happy you're safe, brother. You can't be what you are not. Even Zeus wouldn't want you to be.

He walks a few steps away from the group, then looks back at Hercules.

HEPHAESTUS

Now I have to go. I left something boiling on the forge.

Hephaestus disappears. Hercules burps, hugely -- and groans.

HERCULES

I feel like I ate an ox.

JASON

You did.

Jason, Lilith, Iolaus, and Herc start back into the distance, as:

HERCULES

Now wait a minute...

JASON

I was there --

(shakes his head; grim)

-- let me tell you, it wasn't pretty...

FADE OUT.

THE END