Regrets... I've Had a Few Transcript (Novelization)

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Teaser

Woman: "There he is! He's coming here now!"

Man's Voice: "Hurry! Let's find out what's happened!"

Tidus: [Interrupts]: "He got off! Claxon got off again!"

People: "What?!"

Tidus: "No witnesses! Judge let him go!"

Claxon: "You see, Tidus? I knew-- once you thought about it-- you'd tell the judge-- it _wasn't_ me you saw-- strangling that little redhead. This is a fine-looking family you've got heah [sic]. Be a shame if something bad happened to ‘em-- wouldn't it? Heh. Ooh-- if it ain't the long arm of the law. Guess you lose again, Jaris."

Jaris: "Don't worry-- I'm a patient man."

Claxon: "You don't get it, do you? Nobody's gonna testify against me. And no judge would find me guilty-- if they did!"

Jaris: "All right, Claxon-- take if off the street."

Claxon: "I'm tired of you in my face. You bother me. You're like a bug-- and bugs-- get squashed."

Jaris: "You wanna get into this in front of a town full of witnesses?"

Claxon: "Nobody's gonna see a thing."

Hercules: "Call me nobody-- and I've already seen enough."

[Fight]

Man's Voice: "Come on."

Hercules: [Sighs]

Jaris: "Hercules!"

Hercules: "It's a-- nice, quiet little town you got here, Jaris. I just thought I'd-- drop in."

Jaris: "Good timing. I've been trying to get rid of Claxon for years. It's so good to see you."

Hercules: "You, too."

Jaris: "I guess you heard about my wife."

Hercules: "Yeah. I'm-- sorry. Aspa was a wonderful woman."

Jaris: "She was. And she would have made a wonderful mother to little Bartoc, too. At least she got to hold him before she died."

Hercules: "You named him after your brother."

Jaris: "Yeah-- you gotta see him."

Hercules: "I'd love to."

Jaris: "Remember Aspa's sister?"

Hercules: "Sure-- hi, Rena."

Rena: "Nice to see you again, Hercules."

Jaris: "And the little fuss-budget is Bartoc."

Hercules: "That's great."

Rena: "He needs a nap."

Jaris: "Sorry he's in such a mood. He was sick all night with a fever."

Hercules: "Hmm."

Jaris: "You better take him home, Rena. I'll walk you to the wagon. Catch up with you."

Rena: "We should Have Hercules over for dinner."

Jaris: "That's a good idea."

Hercules: "Celesta. Celesta!"

Celesta: "Hello, Hercules."

Hercules: "Hi. I, uh-- wish I could say I was happy to see you."

Celesta: "Mortals think I come to _take_ life. I'm only here to guide them to the other side when it's their time to go."

Hercules: "I-- know you're a source of comfort on the journey-- but the mortal half of me is-- always saddened to see a life end."

Celesta: "I've always admired your compassion for humans."

Hercules: "Celesta! Not the baby?"

Celesta: "No, I'm not here for the baby."

Hercules: [Sighs]

Celesta: "I've come for Jaris."

Act One

Hercules: "Jaris? Jaris-- is gonna die? How?"

Celesta: "You can't stop it. The Fates have already severed Jaris' lifeline. It will be fast and painless."

Hercules: "But he's so young."

Celesta: "There are things even you are powerless to change, Hercules."

Hercules: "W-wait-wait-- don't take him yet! Give him some more time, to-- to get his life in order! Say his goodbyes."

Celesta: "You know I can't do that."

Hercules: "You can't tell me he's gonna die and expect me not to help him!"

Celesta: "Hades will have my head. All right-- a day, no longer. Death is never easy. It's the survivors who have it the hardest. You found that out when you met Jaris' brother."

Hercules: "Bartoc. It was the first time I ever met you. I'll never forget what happened. I thought I put it behind me-- until now."

[The Past]

Cheiron: "Hercules! Pick up the pace! You're walking through this like a drill!"

Young Hercules: "But it is a drill."

Cheiron: "Well done, Iolaus."

Young Hercules: "Cheiron, I've done this so much, I could do it in my sleep."

Cheiron: "It's not the moves that need work-- it's the attitude. You _win_ or you _lose_ here!"

Young Iolaus: "Well, you know, Chieron-- I _try_ to tell him, but-- ooh!"

Cheiron: "You are my most promising student, Hercules. But lately, you've grown cocky and overconfident."

Young Hercules: "Well-- it's the training. I mean-- day in, day out. It's boring."

Cheiron: "That's it! You have fourteen days to enjoy the festival-- and to visit with your families! When you come back-- come back ready to work!"

Young Iolaus: "Six weeks-- of ‘Up and dawn and drill till you drop'. Oh-h-h-h-h-- I am so ready for your mother's cooking."

Young Hercules: "Maybe you should have continued a life of crime, Iolaus. Hard prison labor-- would be a _breeze_ compared to life at Cheiron's academy."

Kenickus: "Look at ‘em-- all those goody-goody cadets. They make me wanna puke."

Dageth: "Here he comes-- hot-shot Hercules. Thinks he can stick his nose in and cost us a turf war. Now, it's payback time. All right-- Bartoc-- kill Hercules-- and you'll be one of us."

Young Bartoc: "You sure a knife will do it? He's stronger than anyone-- never been beat."

Dageth: "Just do it! We'll set him up."

[Fight]

Dageth: "Now, Bartoc! Gut him!"

Young Hercules: "You know? It's just like ya to send a baby to do your work, Dageth."

Young Bartoc: "I'll show you who's a baby!"

Dageth: "Get up! You wimp!"

Young Hercules: "Come on. You know-- I do have a tougher workout every day before breakfast."

Young Bartoc: "Ah-h-h-h-h-h!"

Dageth: "Let-- let's get outta here!"

Thug: "Hurry!"

Young Iolaus: "Herc-- Herc! He's dead."

Cheiron: "Such a waste-- and for nothing."

Young Hercules: "It's my fault."

Young Iolaus: "Herc-- he had a knife."

Young Hercules: "No, I didn't take it seriously. I should have handled it better."

Cheiron: "Yes-- you should have-- but you didn't. Next time, you will. It's called learning."

Young Iolaus: "Dageth called him Bartoc. The guy says his father's a farmer, about half a day away."

Cheiron: "You know what you have to do, don't you?"

Young Hercules: "Yes, I do."

Young Iolaus: "Hey! Yo, Herc! Wait up!"

Young Hercules: "Iolaus."

Young Iolaus: "Let's get going!"

Young Hercules: "This is something I gotta do by myself."

Young Iolaus: "Ah-h-h-h, man!"

Young Hercules: "Please."

Young Iolaus: "Well, just don't forget it was a gang who forced Bartoc into fighting you. You can't take all the blame."

Young Hercules: "Yeah, I know. But this kid's dead because of me. It's nobody else's fault. It's up to me to take him home."

Young Iolaus: "This how you tail a guy, huh? A blind Cyclops attracts less attention."

Kenickus: "Let me go. I'll cut you."

Young Iolaus: "Little kids shouldn't play with knives."

Kenickus: "No-- it's chumps like you we oughtta play with."

Young Hercules: "You, again."

Celesta: "Hello, Hercules. I'm Celesta."

Young Hercules: "Messenger of Hades. That's why you were there today. You came for the boy. You're not what I would have expected."

Celesta: "I hear that a lot. What you're doing-- taking his body home to his family-- is a very compassionate act. Most of us on Olympus are very proud of you, Hercules."

Young Hercules: "And my father, Zeus-- is he proud of me, too?"

Celesta: "Of course."

Young Hercules: "Of course."

Celesta: "The king of gods has enormous responsibility. Hercules, he thinks of you more than you know."

Young Hercules: "Yeah. Look-- thanks for the nice words, but-- if you really wanna help me-- bring Bartoc back to life."

Celesta: "I'm afraid that's not possible."

Young Hercules: "Then we have nothing to talk about. No offense-- I-- I appreciate that the other gods realize that I exist-- but it would be nice-- if my own father did-- even if he does think of me more than I know. It was nice meeting you."

Celesta: "I hope you can help the boy's family find peace, Hercules-- and find some for yourself."

Young Hercules: "Hey-- let me give you a hand with that. This thing's bigger than you are."

Young Jaris: "Thanks. Are you here to see my father?"

Young Hercules: "Is his name Nehemiah?"

Young Jaris: "That's him. I'm Jaris."

Young Hercules: "Hello, Jaris. I'm Hercules. I need to speak to your father. It's about your brother."

Young Jaris: "Bartoc?! Great! Father will be happy to meet a friend of his! Oh-- oh, wait here! Father! Father! Come quick! Father! There's a guy over there! He's a friend of Bartoc's!"

Nehemiah: "Well, let's meet him. Don't even think about eating that! That fruit may look sweet as honey-- it'll make ya sick if you eat it raw."

Young Jaris: "Bartoc fed one to our cattle one time. We couldn't drink the milk for a week!"

Nehemiah: "Well, he didn't know. Sometimes, pretty means poison. Jaris you know Bartoc."

Young Hercules: "I'm Hercules. I knew Bartoc-- just for a short time."

Nehemiah: "Jaris-- go to the house."

Young Jaris: "But why?"

Nehemiah: "Do as I say-- now. That's my boy, isn't it?"

Young Hercules: "I'm sorry, sir. It was an accident. I didn't-- "

Nehemiah: "Thank you for-- bringing him home. You're a good friend."

Act Two

Hercules: "Your father would be proud of you."

Jaris: "Well, I'm not a farmer like he was. But town constable is honest work. And with troublemakers like Claxon around, at least I'm never gonna be out of a job."

Hercules: "Jaris-- have you ever-- talked with-- Rena about-- you know, if something-- were to happen to you-- what would happen-- to little Bartoc?"

Jaris: "Well, no."

Hercules: "Would she raise him? I mean-- I can tell she loves him."

Jaris: "Yes, she does-- she and her husband, both. Herc, what are you getting at?"

Hercules: [Sighs]: "I saw Celesta today-- the messenger of death. She-- she came for you."

Jaris: "But I'm still here-- and I feel fine."

Hercules: "She's giving you some extra time to make arrangements for your son."

Jaris: "Could it be a mistake?"

Hercules: "No. I'm sorry."

Jaris: "Always hoped I'd accomplish something before my time came."

Hercules: "But you have. You've been someone your neighbors could turn to for help. You stood up for them."

Jaris: "I haven't done enought. Decent people can't even walk the streets. Claxon-- others like him. I'm leaving my son to grow up in a world full of vicious animals!"

Hercules: "He'll grow up in a world with people who love him. That's more important."

Jaris: "I gotta think this through. Some things I gotta do. How much time? Did she say?"

Hercules: "Not much-- one day."

Young Jaris: "It's all your fault! If he hadn't run away, he'd still be alive!"

Nehemiah: "Jaris-- "

Young Jaris: "I'm _gonna_ run away myself! And _don't_ try and stop me!"

Young Hercules: "I'll talk to him."

Young Hercules: "Wow! This is nice."

Young Jaris: "Bartoc built it."

Young Hercules: "You guys must have been pretty good pals, huh?"

Young Jaris: "He was my brother. I always thought he'd come back for me someday-- someday when things had cooled off between him and--"

Young Hercules: "What was it about? The argument?"

Young Jaris: "Bartoc was hanging around some guys-- my father didn't like. He said it was for his own good-- that he didn't wanna _see_ them around here any more."

Young Hercules: "Well, at least he cared-- right? My father didn't care about me-- still doesn't. If I was in Bartoc's place-- I'd never wanna leave here."

Young Jaris: "Did Bartoc ever talk about me?"

Young Hercules: "Yeah-- of course. All the time."

Young Jaris: "Tell me about him-- these last few months."

Young Hercules: "Well-- he-- you ever hear of Cheiron's academy?"

Young Jaris: "He went there? That's gotta be tough."

Young Hercules: "Uh-- it ain't no picnic. You see, Cheiron's a Centaur--'s a great warrior-- doesn't put up with anything. You learn how to handle yourself-- learn how to look out for each other."

Young Jaris: "You and Bartoc-- that's great!"

Dageth: "Well-- if it isn't Mr. ‘Look-at-me-I'm-in-the-academy-now'. What's your job? Shooing flies off the Centaur?"

Young Iolaus: "Well, it sure beats this lame excuse for a crew. Ahh!"

Dageth: "So-- Hercules has taken our dead buddy back to the farm. It makes things simple. Him and the old man are both responsible for putting that poor kik in the ground!"

Young Iolaus: "Yeah, right-- blame everybody but yourself. Big man."

Dageth: "Word is out-- from here to Corinth. As soon as a few more crews get here-- Hercules and the old man are dead meat."

Young Iolaus: "You know? This has nothing to do with settling things. This is all about you-- trying to look tough."

Kenickus: "Check it-- I float like a Harpy-- and sting like a Stymphalian bird!"

Young Iolaus: "And drop like a rock."

Thug: "Get him!"

Dageth: "Hey! You tell your buddy, Hercules, we'll be coming for him and the old man! Stop fighting! He's gone!"

Young Iolaus's Voice: "Herc!"

Nehemiah: "You're another of Bartoc's friends. Thank you for being here."

Young Iolaus: "Well-- I had to come."

Nehemiah: "Hercules-- would you mind saying a few words?"

Young Hercules: "Um-- I'm not family."

Young Jaris: "Please, Hercules? You were his friend."

Nehemiah: "In some ways, you may have known him better than we did."

Young Hercules: [Sighs]: "Bartoc-- was trying to find his way-- he was, uh-- trying to find who he-- he really was. That's not always easy. I-i-it can be tough-- opening up-- talking about how you feel, or admitting that you feel-- lost-- or-- forgotten. Bartoc will always be with you. He'll be in your hearts. And he'll hear _your_ thoughts when you think of him-- and he'll hear mine, too. Iolaus? Wh-wh-what happened? What are you-what are you doin' here?"

Young Iolaus: "What am _I_ doing here? Herc-- I don't know _what_ is going on, but Dageth is coming after you. He's bringing his own gang, and a bunch of others."

Young Hercules: "We need to leave. I-I-- I can draw them away."

Young Iolaus: "No, no. No. It won't work. He's got a grudge against Bartoc's father, too. You're both on his hit list."

Nehemiah: "Hercules-- I'd like you to stay on awhile-- your friend, too."

Young Iolaus: "Iolaus."

Nehemiah: "Iolaus-- it'd be good for, uh-- Jaris to have someone to talk to-- who was close to Bartoc."

Young Hercules: "W-we'd be glad to-- Nehemiah."

Young Iolaus: "Close to Bartoc? You didn't _tell_ him, did you?!"

Young Hercules: "No."

Young Iolaus: "Ya didn't tell him?"

Young Hercules: "No."

Young Iolaus: "Oh, do you want me to tell him?"

Young Hercules: "No, I don't want you to"

Young Iolaus: "Well, I'll tell him!"

Young Hercules: "Iolaus, I don't wantcha to say _anything_! That mans' son and that boy's brother is _dead_ because of me. Any trouble that they're in-- is my fault. I'll handle it."

Tidus: "Claxon, why?! I kept quiet! You got off!"

Claxon: "Yeah-- this is just a reminduh [sic]-- in case you change your mind."

Tidus: "Ooh! Oh! Oh!"

Claxon: "Huh? Jaris? What a surprise. You caught me stepping on a bug. I guess that's some kind of violation. OK? Take me to court-- but I gotta tell ya-- I'm getting tired of you wasting my time."

Jaris: "I haven't got time to waste either, Claxon."

Claxon: "Smart man. Oh-- just between us-- I strangled that redhead-- choked the life-- right out of her. And Tidus, there? He saw'r [sic] it all. She was-- frisky, though-- put up a real good fight. I'm thinking of looking up her sister." [Laughs]

Tidus's Voice: "Jaris! Don't!"

Jaris: "Should have done that a long time ago."

Hercules: "Why? Why?!"

Jaris: "No time. If I gotta go, I'm take as many like him with me as I can."

Act Three

Celesta: "This didn't have to happen, Hercules. I broke the rule. I gave him extra time."

Hercules: "No, I'm the one who's responsible. I should have stayed with him. He's afraid of facing death. That's why he's-- doing this instead of taking care of his son."

Celesta: "You'd better stop him soon. If this keeps up, all the evil he does will outweigh all the good he's already done in his life-- and Hades won't permit him into the Elysisn Fields."

Hercules: "I won't let that happen. I owe it to his father-- and his brother."

Nehemiah: "You're not afraid to get your hands calloused. Bartoc never had a taste for it."

Young Hercules: "You've been doin' this all your life. I'm just catchin' up."

Nehemiah: "Storm's comin'. You better hurry, Son."

Young Iolaus: "Herc-- they're here."

Young Hercules: "I know. I saw ‘em-- about 30 by my count."

Young Iolaus: "Yeah, well maybe we could have headed them off if we left before-- but now they've got us boxed in."

Young Hercules: "Nehemiah wouldn't have stood a chance-- you know that. What's on your mind, Iolaus?"

Young Iolaus: "Ok-- you asked for it. No matter how hard you try, you're _never_ gonna take that dead kid's place! So the old man called you ‘Son'-- so what?! You're not really his son! You can't make up for killing that kid by stepping into his life!"

Young Hercules: "That's not what I'm doin'!"

Young Iolaus: "Oh, really? Well, you could have fooled me-- and maybe yourself."

Young Jaris: "Hercules, you better come outside."

Dageth: "Now, this is _really_ nowhere. No wonder Bartoc couldn't wait to get away from here-- the place stinks."

Young Iolaus: "Yeah, talk about stinks, you guys mind standing downwind a bit? I just had lunch."

Young Hercules: "Cut to the chase, Dageth."

Dageth: "Thought you might wanna know-- I got rival crews behind me-- guys who would've cut each other's hearts out a few days ago. But you're our common cause, Hercules. Thanks to you-- we're too big to stop."

Young Jaris: "What's going on, Hercules? You know who these guys are, don't you?"

Dageth: "You'd be Jaris, huh? Knew your brother. Just to show I'm righeous-- I'm willing to cut you a break. Join up-- and you won't be hurt. You could even take your brother's place with us."

Young Jaris: "What's he talking about, Hercules?! You neve said anything about Bartoc being in a gang!"

Young Hercules: "Jaris, go to the barn-- now."

Gang-Banger's Voice: "-- going to his Mommy, now?"

Dageth: "What's up, Herc? Don't you think the kid has a right to hear this? Especially considering what you did to his big brother!"

Gang-Bangers' Voices: "Big man! Get ready to rumble!" "Wait, wait, wait."

Dageth: "The way I see it-- you're either with us-- or against us. Come sundown-- everyone against us-- dies. Let's go."

Young Iolaus: "As soon as it get's dark, maybe we should try and sneak Jaris outta here."

Young Hercules: "No-- he's safer here where we can watch out for him."

Young Hercules: "Hey! Hey!"

Young Jaris: "Let-- go 'a me!"

Young Hercules: "Jaris-- what are you doin'?!"

Young Jaris: "They're those guys my father ran out of town before! I heard what they said! They're coming for us! I'm not a kid, anymore! I can help fight ‘em! It's what Bartoc would have done!"

Young Hercules: "Jaris, sometimes! Ya gotta fight-- butcha gotta pick your time-- and ya gotta pick your place. Ya can't be forced into it. Bartoc forgot that-- that's what got him killed."

Young Jaris: "So how'd he really die? In a gang fight? Did Dageth do it?"

Young Hercules: "Jaris, go find your father. There's some things I need to tell him."

Young Iolaus: "A-a-ah, Herc, maybe now's not the time, huh?"

Young Hercules: "No-- I should have been honest from the start. I need to tell him what really happened."

1st Thug: "Come on, come on! I did all the hard work, bashin' that miser-lady over the head. I got the bigger share comin'."

2nd Thug: "She was sound asleep when we broke in-- would've stayed that way, too, had you not made so much racket!"

1st Thug: "Hey-- you still got me to thank. Now, she can't identify us!"

2nd Thug: "She was blind, you moron!"

Jaris: "Hello, boys."

A Thug: "Huh?"

1st Thug: "Jaris-- we won these dinars fair and square in a card game."

A Thug's Voice: "Yeah."

1st Thug: "You can't prove we didn't."

Jaris: "You're right-- I can't. Guess what? I don't care."

[Fight]

Thug: "He's gone crazy!"

1st Thug: "Please! Don't kill me! Look! I confess! Uh! I-I-I'm sorry! It was an accident!"

Jaris: "Shut up! At least, die like a man!"

Hercules: "Jaris! Put the knife down. Let him go!"

Jaris: "Get out of here, Hercules. This has nothing to do with you!"

Hercules: "Put-- the knife down."

Jaris: "You'll have to kill me to stop me. Wouldn't that be funny? If that was the way it was suppposed to happen all along."

Act Four

Hercules: "Not so fast. I'll deal with you later."

1st Thug: "Ah-h-h-h-h-h! Uh! Uh!"

A Thug's Voice: "Let's go!"

Jaris: "You should have thrown that knife through my heart."

Hercules: "You should listen to your heart. Listen to your brother, Bartoc. He'd tell you that killling isn't the answer."

Jaris: "Don't you get it? There _is_ no answer. I'm a walking dead man!"

Hercules: "But you're not dead yet. Every moment of life is precious. Spend it with your son. Spend it with the people who love you. Because of me, your brother never had that chance-- but you have."

Jaris: "I'm afraid to die, Hercules."

Hercules: "Well-- we all are."

Jaris: "I can't fight it, can I?"

Hercules: "None of us can. Once we realize that-- the hard part is over."

Jaris: "Will you tell my son about me, someday? And tell him his father loved him?"

Hercules: "I will, my friend. I promise."

Nehemiah: "What's the matter? Jaris said you wanted to see me."

Young Hercules: "Nehemiah, there's a gang here. Bartoc was one of them. They attacked me. I was fighting them off. Bartoc died because I killed him. It was an accident."

Nehemiah: "Ah-h! Ah-h-h-h! I trusted you! Took you under my roof! I treated you like family."

Young Hercules: "You have every right to be angry. I can't bring Bartoc back. I'm sorry. But I need to get this out in the open-- in case we don't get through this one alive."

Young Iolaus: "Herc! They're coming."

Dageth: "Keep your eyes open! Don't give ‘em a chance to slip through!"

Gang-bangers: [Yell]: "Torch this place and everyone in it! Make them beg for mercy!"

Kenickus: "Burn, baby-- burn!"

Young Iolaus: "Yo! Jaris! Grab the bucket!"

[Fight]

Young Hercules: "Duck!"

Dageth: "You had your chance with us, kid."

Young Jaris: "Father!"

Nehemiah: "Jar-i-i-i-is! No-o-o-o!"

Young Hercules: "Come and pick on somebody your own size, Dageth."

Dageth: "That's the last time you're gonna put your hands on me. You're dead meat!"

Kenickus: "Rip his heart out!"

Young Iolaus: "Hey, Kenickus! Play nice."

Young Hercules: "Come on, Dageth! Is that all you got?! Come on!"

Young Iolaus: "Get him, Herc!"

Young Hercules: "You're finished, Dageth! Get out!"

Young Hercules: "It won't be the same"

Young Jaris: "It looks good to me. Thanks, Hercules."

Young Iolaus: "Time to hit the road, Herc."

Young Hercules: "Goodbye, Jaris."

Young Jaris: "Tell him."

Nehemiah: "Hercules-- I just wanna thank you for-- saving Jaris from the gang. And, uh-- maybe I can be a-- better father to him than I was to Bartoc."

Rena: "Goodbye, Jaris."

Hercules: "He's with his brother and his father now."

Rena: "I know. Come in. Have something to eat with us, Hercules."

Hercules: "No, no. You, uh-- you go on. I'll-- I'll be along." [Clears throat]

Young Hercules: "What's wrong, Herc?"

Hercules: "This makes two people I've buried here-- both too young."

Young Hercules: "But you were there for Jaris when he needed you. You have nothing to blame yourself for this time."

Hercules: "I still can't help feeling guilty."

Young Hercules: "With time and understanding those feelings will fade."

Hercules: "But never completely. We have both-- learned a lot along the way."

Young Hercules: "Well, ya gotta live and learn."

Hercules: "Yeah. It's too bad-- some of the biggest lessons we learn-- involve losing people we love."

Young Hercules: "They're never really gone, right? ‘Cause they're part of us-- always."

Hercules: "Hmm. Always."