|
|
| (6 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown) |
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| <table width="100%" style="padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color:#DCE3EB;"><TR><TD width="50%" style="text-align:left"> | | <table width="100%" style="padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color:#DCE3EB;"><TR><TD width="50%" style="text-align:left"> |
| '''[[1.05 Girl Trouble|« Back to "1.05 Girl Trouble"]]'''<td></tr></table> | | '''[[1.05 - Girl Trouble|« Back to "1.05 - Girl Trouble"]]'''<td></tr></table> |
|
| |
|
| [TEASER]
| | To Be Added. |
|
| |
|
| Zared: “No one-- double-crosses me! Throw him in the hold!”
| | [[Category:Scripts]][[Category:YH Episode Scripts (Novelization)]] |
| | |
| Man: “No! Please! Please, sir! No! No! Please! I beg you!
| |
| Please! Ahhhhh!”
| |
| | |
| Zared: “Looks like our cargo won’t be needin’ dinner tonight!”
| |
| [Laughs] | |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| Ja: “Uh-- uck, what is it?”
| |
| | |
| H: “Your guess is as good as mine.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “That’s it. I’m not eatin’. I’m going on a hunger strike.”
| |
| | |
| I: “You gonna eat that? Hmm-- you know? You picked a really
| |
| bad time to go on a hunger strike with the harvest festival
| |
| coming up.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “All you can eat? All weekend long? No, thank you.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Don’t worry about it, Jason. Cheiron promised us a new
| |
| cook, remember? That’s right.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “There she is.”
| |
| | |
| I’s Voice: “A girl in the academy?”
| |
| | |
| I: “A babe-- who can cook.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “Aw-- I’ve died and gone to the Elysian Fields.”
| |
| | |
| I: “No. No, wait! No! I saw her first!”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “You were busy stuffin’ your face!”
| |
| | |
| I: “Huh? I’ll show you how to stuff your face! Come on!”
| |
| | |
| H: “Guys, guys, guys, guys. Listen, are we really gonna fight
| |
| over a beautiful woman, huh?”
| |
| | |
| Ja and I: “Yes!”
| |
| | |
| H: “A-a-all right then, gentlemen-- and I use the term _so_ very
| |
| loosely-- there’s only one way to settle this.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| I: “OK. Through the arch; off the ladder; over the roof; off
| |
| the well; off the wall; down the steps; nothing but pigpen.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “It’ll never happen-- but good luck.”
| |
| | |
| Cook: “Whoa! [Yells] Oh!”
| |
| | |
| H: “Uh, guys, he’s out cold. Somebody get some water, all
| |
| right?”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “Nice work, Iolaus.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Hey, it wasn’t my fault. that guy stepped right into it.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Listen, you gonna be OK, buddy? You all right?”
| |
| | |
| Cook: “Yeah.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Yeah?”
| |
| | |
| I: “Hey, never mind that. Just get him on his feet before
| |
| Cheiron sees us. I mean, the last thing we want is old ‘Mr.
| |
| Pearls of wisdom’. ‘Look-- you boys look silly with that ball--
| |
| ’ He’s behind me, isn’t he? Hey.”
| |
| | |
| Cheiron: “You all right, Arcus?”
| |
| | |
| Arcus: “Yeah. Sure-- no problem.”
| |
| | |
| Cheiron: “Looks like I’ve lost a messenger-- which means-- you
| |
| boys are going to Athens.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Athens? What’s in Athens?”
| |
| | |
| Cheiron: “Find us a new cook.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Uh, a c-- uh, oh-- well, we thought that, you know, a, ah--
| |
| well, if Arcus was gonna go find the cook, then, uh-- who’s she?”
| |
| | |
| Lilith [Lil]: “I’m Lilith.”
| |
| | |
| Cheiron: “Gentlemen-- meet our newest cadet.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Ha-ha! What?! Aw-- come on, she’s-- she’s-- ”
| |
| | |
| Lil: “What?”
| |
| | |
| I: “She’s-- gonna be just fine.”
| |
| | |
| Lil: “So-- you cadets always use messengers for target
| |
| practice?”
| |
| | |
| I: “You know? There’s no need for us all to miss the harvest
| |
| festival. Later. Hey, uh-- no, I was-- I was-- let’s go.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| [ACT I]
| |
| | |
| H’s Voice: “We are missing the entire harvest festival ‘cause
| |
| we’re stuck lookin’ for a cook.”
| |
| | |
| I’s Voice: “What?! Like this is all my fault.”
| |
| | |
| Ja’s Voice: “You knocked out the messenger.”
| |
| | |
| I’s Voice: “Not on purpose.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “There’s gotta be a decent cook closer than Athens.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Yeah. Hey, Herc-- Zeus must know some pretty decent cooks.
| |
| Why don’t you just get him to zap one down here?”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “Aye!”
| |
| | |
| H: “I don’t even talk to my father, never mind ask him for
| |
| favors.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “It’s gonna take a week to walk to Athens and back.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Yeah, well, the shooting contest wasn’t my idea.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Hey-- what was I supposed to do, huh? You two were about to
| |
| deck each other over our new classmate.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “How could we know she was a cadet?”
| |
| | |
| I: “Yeah-- she didn’t look like a cadet.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “Whoever heard of a girl cadet?”
| |
| | |
| I: “Yeah, exactly. Girls are supposed to be-- sweet and
| |
| gentle.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “Why is that? Is that all you can handle?”
| |
| | |
| H: “That’s assuming he can even get a date.” [They laugh.]
| |
| | |
| I: “Hey, I got an idea.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Huh? Oh, not again.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Look-- let’s hire a boat. We’ll gget to Athens in no time.
| |
| And-- it’ll give us a chance to, uh-- check out the sights-- if
| |
| you catch my drift.”
| |
| | |
| H: “We can’t afford a boat.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Who needs money? I’ll just turn on the old Iolaus charm.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| H: “The old Iolaus charm, huh?”
| |
| | |
| I: “What? We’re on a boat. We’re headed towards Athens--
| |
| aren’t we?”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “By the time we get there, we’re gonna be too tired to do
| |
| anything.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Eh.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “How you doin’?”
| |
| | |
| I: “Good.”
| |
| | |
| H: “You thirsty?”
| |
| | |
| I: “What?”
| |
| | |
| H: “Huh?”
| |
| | |
| Zared: “That’s enough!”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “Who died and made you captain?”
| |
| | |
| Zared: “The name’s Zared-- if you want to stay on board my
| |
| boat-- you’ll do your work-- stay out of my way. And never-- get
| |
| near my cargo.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Whatever.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Friendly guy.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “What a freak.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| Ja: “Hey! Hey!”
| |
| | |
| I: “What? Oh, right-- yeah, yeah, yeah.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Iolaus, what’s your problem?”
| |
| | |
| I: “I’ve been thinking. I wanna know what’s in that cargo hold.
| |
| Whoa, whoa, whoa-- look. Whoa. Whoa.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Listen, I know what you’re thinkin’, Iolaus, OK? Just
| |
| forget it.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Aw, come on, Herc. Aren’t you just a little bit curious to
| |
| find out what’s in there?”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “Sure he is. So am I. But you heard Zared. Keep your nose
| |
| out of there.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Jason’s right, all right? Rules are rules. Iolaus.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rules are rules.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| H: “Iolaus. Iolaus! Jason. He’s going for the cargo.
| |
| Iolaus!”
| |
| | |
| Zared: “Thieves! Stop them!”
| |
| | |
| I: “Whoa!”
| |
| | |
| H: “Iolaus!”
| |
| | |
| [Fight]
| |
| | |
| H: “Get the barrel. I’ll get the swords.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “We have to get Iolaus.”
| |
| | |
| Ja and H: [Yell]
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| H: “Amazons.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| [ACT II]
| |
| | |
| Ja: “What have you Amazons done with Iolaus?”
| |
| | |
| I: “Ah, not enough, if you ask me.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Iolaus! You OK?
| |
| | |
| I: “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “I thought they were supposed to be man-haters.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Yeah.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Yeah, well, they don’t hurt good-_looking_ men.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “We don’t hurt boys, or he’d be in chains already. My
| |
| name’s Cyane, leader of the Telaquire Amazon nation.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Oh-- I’m Hercules.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “Um-- Jason.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Um-- Iolaus. We, uh-- we-we me.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Hey, you’re the cargo Zared plans to take to Athens. People
| |
| should not be cargo.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “My sisters and I plan to take over this ship. You’ll
| |
| either help us or go down with the rest.”
| |
| | |
| H [Chuckles]: “Well-- kind of sounds like an order to me.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “It is. I’m in charge here.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Oh-- well-- with all due respect, with those chains around
| |
| your ankles, you’re not much match for Zared’s men. You’re gonna
| |
| need our help.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “OK. So you can join us. But if we find that you’ve
| |
| deceived us-- I’ll feed you to the sharks.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Oh, gee, that’s fair.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “We gotta find a way to get those chains off.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Yeah-- if only we had the key.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Mmm.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Wait a second.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Whoa. Hey. Whoa! Come on!”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “No, no, no-- relax.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Come on! That tickles!”
| |
| | |
| H: “Ah.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Oh, right-- that’s what you wanted.”
| |
| | |
| H: “We’ll unlock the Amazons, and we’ll attack in the morning.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Morning, huh?”
| |
| | |
| H: “Yeah.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Well, it looks like someone’s got a busy night ahead. Hi,
| |
| I’m Iolaus.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Three, two, one.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Ooh! Feisty! I can work with that.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| Man’s Voice: “Lights out! All lights out! Lights out!”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| Cyane: “I don’t bite.”
| |
| | |
| H: “I know. I just wanted, uh-- to let you go first.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “You’ve never seen an Amazon, before, huh?”
| |
| | |
| H: “Well-- no, but I’ve heard things.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “That we’re thieves and-- murderers, and baby-snatchers.
| |
| We hate all men and corrupt all women, right?”
| |
| | |
| H: “Uh-huh. Is it true?”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “No. Thousands of years ago, all the men in our village
| |
| were wiped out in a single battle. From then on, our ancestors
| |
| knew that our women needed to be strong. So, as for men, we
| |
| just-- learned to live without them.”
| |
| | |
| H: “What about your male children?”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Oh, they’re returned to their fathers. The girls stay
| |
| here with us and are raised as Amazons-- although, I only speak
| |
| for the Telaquire Amazons-- my tribe.”
| |
| | |
| H: “There’s more of you?”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Yeah-- twelve in all. We were separated during the
| |
| great war with the Centaurs. And one day we do hope to reunite.”
| |
| | |
| H: “I’ve heard Centaurs talk about that war.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “You have Centaur friends.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Well, yeah.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Well, that explains your hatred of the Amazons, then.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Whoa-- no, no. See, uh-- I don’t hate anybody.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| H: “So-- you haven’t told me how Zared captured you.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “He didn’t. We were tricked by a god.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Which god?”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “The cruelest of them all-- Zeus.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Are you sure?”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Zeus told us to leave our land-- and when we refused, he
| |
| took us by force, turning us over to Zared.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Wait. That’s impossible.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “That’s the truth.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Zeus doesn’t harm innocent people.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “You’re naive, Hercules. Look, I used to think that--
| |
| the gods of Olympus were fair and just. Now, I know that they do
| |
| things out of hatred and spite. I’m sorry. These have been--
| |
| difficult days.”
| |
| | |
| H: “It’s OK. I know a little bit about how hard the gods can
| |
| be.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| Men’s Voices: “Sound the morning call!” “Get to work!”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| Man’s Voice: “Land ho!”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “All right-- let’s break through the hatch door.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Whoa-- listen to me. Now, you do that, and you’ll have all
| |
| of Zared’s men out there wating for you.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Oh, you got a better idea?”
| |
| | |
| H: “I think so. We’re gonna need the help of someone sneaky--
| |
| someone underhanded-- somebody conniving.”
| |
| | |
| I: “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| I’s Voice: “Oh! Oh! We’ve sprung a leak! Oh, help us! Help
| |
| us! We’re taking on water!”
| |
| | |
| Sailor: “Well, go help!”
| |
| | |
| I’s Voice: “We’re all gonna drown! We’re all gonna die!”
| |
| | |
| Sailor: “Gotta do something! Quick! Open the hold!”
| |
| | |
| I’s Voice: “Hold me! Oh, no! Help us! We’re sinking! Oh!
| |
| Oh! It’s-- oh! Oh. Uh-oh.”
| |
| | |
| [Fight]
| |
| | |
| H: “OK. Any time, ladies-- anytime!”
| |
| | |
| H’s Voice: “Iolaus! Duck!”
| |
| | |
| Man’s Voice: “Behind you!”
| |
| | |
| H’s Voice [?]: “Coming through!”
| |
| | |
| Zared: “Fools! Get them! Use your bows!”
| |
| | |
| H: “Cyane! Yes!”
| |
| | |
| Zared: “If I stop the leader-- I win the war. Goodbye, Amazon
| |
| Queen.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Nice catch.”
| |
| | |
| H: “It was OK.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Not bad-- for a boy.”
| |
| | |
| All: [Cheer]
| |
| | |
| Amazon’s Voice: “We did it!”
| |
| | |
| -----------------------------------------------------------------
| |
| H: “So-- where do you think Zared and his men are now?”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Well-- if this wind holds, they should be in Carthage--
| |
| where slave-trading is illegal-- I might add.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Hey, uh-- Cyane. We’re headed towards Athens. Uh-- you
| |
| care to join us?”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Nah-- thanks, Iolaus-- but, we better be on our way.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Oh.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Uh-- look, I just-- I wanna apologize-- for-- doubting
| |
| you and your friends.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Uh, no-- uh-- I need to apologize to you. You know, I was,
| |
| uh-- I was wrong about the Amazons, and I was wrong about you,
| |
| and-- I hope your new homeland is everything you dream of.”
| |
| | |
| Cyane: “Oh, thank you, Hercules, for-- helping us win our
| |
| freedom back.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Hey, Herc. Whoa! Whoa. Sorry. Anyway, uh-- Cyane-- maybe
| |
| when you gals, uh, you know-- find your new home, you might wanna
| |
| look us up.”
| |
| | |
| Ja: “They’re Amazons, Iolaus. They don’t look men up. They
| |
| conquer them. Right?”
| |
| | |
| H: “Well-- I thought you liked your women sweet and gentle,
| |
| Iolaus.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Well, you know-- Cheiron said ya-- gotta keep your options
| |
| open.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Yeah-- sounds good to me. Well-- we got a new cook to find,
| |
| right?”
| |
| | |
| Ja’s Voice: “Yep.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Yeah.”
| |
| | |
| I: “Hey, you don’t suppose one of the Amazons might like the
| |
| job.”
| |
| | |
| H: “Somehow, Iolaus, I don’t think they’re the cooking kind--
| |
| you know?”
| |
| | |
| I: “Hey, you think maybe the Amazons need a cook?”
| |
| | |
| H [?]: “You can’t cook.”
| |
| | |
| I: “They don’t know that.”
| |
| | |
| [[Category:Scripts]] | |
