Between Friends Transcript (Novelization)

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Between Friends, Part II

This is a transcript of the episode Between Friends, as aired.

Teaser

Narrator: "Previously on 'Young Hercules'."

Strife: "I'm Strife. I'm bad."

Ares: "Destroy a mortal son of Zeus."

Strife: "You mean Hercules."

Hercules: "What's your name?"

Nysus: "Ny-- Nysus Gaius."

Nysus: "He used to tell me about this place, near the academy? In a cave, up on the mountain."

Hercules: "What cave?" Nysus's Voice: "They've got a chalice there, made by Zeus himself."

Ares' Voice: "Is my dear brother hooked?"

Strife's Voice: "Like a little fish, Uncle, waiting for Hera to fry."

Narrator: "Now, on 'Young Hercules'."

---

Custodian: [Screams]

Iolaus: "Ooh! [Yells]

---

Iolaus: "A little help here!"

---

Jason: "Look before you leap, Iolaus."

---

Jason: "You're welcome!"

Iolaus: "I was gonna say thanks!"

Jason: "Let's break his fall."

Iolaus: "Go!"

Iolaus: "OK. Uh-- this way."

Jason: "Uh, no, it's this way!"

Iolaus: "No, it's this way!"

Jason: "It's this way!"

Iolaus: "I"m telling you; it's this way!"

Hercules: "Over here!"

I and Jason: "That way."

Jason: "I told you it was that way."

Iolaus: [Incomprehensible-- "Look out."]

Hercules: "Perfect."

---

Act One

Cheiron: "These'll take the stiffness out of that shoulder. You were lucky, Hercules. But the warrior that depends on luck is a fool."

Hercules: "I understand that this won't change anything, but... the last thing that I want to do is bring harm to this academy."

Cheiron: "Selfish desires often mask themselves as good intentions."

Hercules: "I thought I knew what I was getting into. Now, I'm not so sure."

---

Nysus: "Your little bro is tougher than I thought. He's one bad dude. Takes after his daddy. Chip off the old Zeus. You know-"

Ares [Interrupting]: "Don't speak. Don't-- don't speak. We'll soften him up where's he's weakest: his pathetic mortal feelings."

Nysus: [Makes growling sound]

---

Iolaus: "You know-- "

Fiducius: "You are the only one."

Iolaus: "I was gonna pay."

Fiducius: "Get the money by the end of the week, or you're out of here."

Iolaus: "Uh, fine! Fine."

Jason: "What'd Fiducius want?"

Iolaus: "What's a dinar-counter like him always want? The academy fees."

Jason: "Iolaus... if you're a little short-"

Iolaus: "Ah, nah, nah. I've-- I got it covered. So, are we gonna practice, or what?"

Nysus: "Practice what? Oh."

Iolaus: "OK. [Chuckles] Now remember-- what old four-legs says: 'Balance-- '

Nysus: "Ah! Ooh."

Iolaus: "I'm sorry-- '-- is the key.' Don't think about where you're stepping. Just feel the pole. It's nothing. I've seen Herc do it blindfolded."

Nysus: "Oh, really? Everybody's sayin' he's always showing off! I'll betcha that's why he got you involved in that bird thing! Stealing Hera's chalice-- "

Iolaus: "Hera? Ah!"

Nysus: "Gotcha! Score one for Nysus! I can't believe-- Hercules didn't tell you the chalice belonged to Hera. She can be so nasty."

Jason: "I guess he forgot to mention it."

Iolaus: "Yeah, right-- like Hera could just slip anyone's mind."

Nysus: "Think fast! Uh-- nice move, Iolaus."

Iolaus: "Yeah."

Nysus: "Didn't see that one comin'."

Iolaus: "Ah, you were doin' OK-- for a second."

Hercules: "Hey, Iolaus-- finally find someone who hasn't seen all your, uh-- special moves, huh? Iolaus? What's your problem?"

Iolaus: "Me? W-- well I-- I don't have a problem. I'm not the one keeping secrets from my friends."

Hercules: "What're ya talkin' about?"

Jason: "He means why didn't you tell us the chalice in the cave belonged to Hera?"

Hercules: "I didn't think she'd miss some stupid old cup, okay? That's why."

Iolaus: "Well, maybe we'd have tried to stop you, maybe not-- but you should 'a told us."

Hercules: "You're right. I'm sorry."

Cheiron's Voice: "Pair drills!"

Cheiron: "Pick a partner. Warriors must learn to fight back-to-back. Depend on your comrade as he depends on you."

Hercules: "Listen, let's talk about this later, okay? Partners?"

Iolaus: "Well, I'm not sure I can trust you."

---

Voices: "That guy Cheiron..." "What a rules freak."

Kora: "Kitchen's closing. Anything else?"

Iolaus: "Uh, how about a slow walk in the moonlight? You... me... the stars?"

Kora: "Alone, Iolaus, with you?"

Iolaus: "Uh, uh... sure."

Kora: "OK. Sneak into the academy barn... crawl into the hayloft... close your eyes... and dream on."

Iolaus: "I don't get it! What is her problem?"

Jason: "She has good taste."

Iolaus: "So, what's my share?"

Jason: "Ah, don't worry about it. I got it."

Iolaus: "Ah, thank you, Jason. I owe you one."

Nysus: "Nice guy."

Iolaus: "Mmm."

Nysus: "I betcha he had everything he could want. Big-time money... family. He can't know what it's like to struggle to get by like, well, like you and me."

Kora: "And there-- that's alone-- "

Nysus: "And a girl like Kora is only impressed by one thing: money. Check how she looks at Jason."

Iolaus: "Ah, they're just talkin'."

Nysus: "I may be outta line here, but, uh... if you were a girl, who would you go with? The future King of Corinth, or a guy like you? See ya back at the academy."

Iolaus: "Mmm."

---

Jason: "Where's the old Iolaus smile, huh?"

Iolaus: "Why would you care?"

Jason: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Iolaus: "All my life, I've had to fight for everything, you know? And you... you've just had it handed to you."

Jason: "What's your problem? You think I've had it easy?"

Iolaus: "No, no. I bet attending those royal banquets is really tough. Ah, great! My money pouch is gone!"

Jason: "Maybe I'll see you back at the academy."

Strife: "Hmm."

---

Kora: "Leonidas! That better not be my new Thessalian platters."

Leonidas: "Sorry."

Kora: "How hard can it be to carry dishes?"

Iolaus: "Hmm. You're not much, but you're all I got."

---

Act Two

Fiducius: "Well, Iolaus... I didn't expect to see you today. What's your excuse this time?"

Iolaus: "Uh, there's no excuse. I've come to pay my academy fees."

Jason's Voice: "What'd he say?"

Constable Tarsus: "Cheiron!"

Cheiron: "Constable Tarsus."

Constable Tarsus: "This is official business, Cheiron. Two of your cadets were seen leaving Kora's inn last night... about the time it was robbed."

Cheiron: "We have nothing to hide. Truth is our greatest weapon."

Jason: "Iolaus and I were the last ones to leave the inn. I'm Jason of Corinth."

Constable Tarsus: "The young prince! I-I've heard about you. Well then... if you and your friend left the inn together... then someone else must be the thief."

Iolaus's Voice: "Uh--"

Iolaus: "W-w-well-- I went back to the inn, to get my money pouch. I, uh-- I dropped it at our table."

Constable Tarsus: "And helped yourself to some coins to put in it!"

Iolaus: "Oh-- no, no-- I saw the money on the counter-- but I didn't take it. I don't have any money."

Fiducius: "You had enough to pay your fees."

Iolaus: "I borrowed that money from Nysus."

Nysus: "Wh-wh-- from me? I-- Iolaus-- you know I don't have that kind of money."

Iolaus: "Nysus, come on-- this is no time to joke around. I'm on probation here! They'll bury me!"

Nysus: "I'd love to help you out, but I don't know what to say."

Constable Tarsus: "There's one way to find out who's telling the truth. Search their rooms!"

---

Constable Tarsus: "Is this your pouch?!"

Iolaus: "Well, yeah, it's mine. But it was empty when I put it in there."

Constable Tarsus: "Take him away!"

Iolaus: "What? Chei-Cheiron!"

Cheiron: "Be patient. Let justice run its course."

Iolaus: "Look-- Hercules!"

Hercules: "Iolaus!"

Cheiron: "Wait."

Hercules: "Cheiron-- listen, I've known Iolaus my whole life. He's a lot of things, but a liar he's not."

Cheiron: "Then both of you must work to find the truth."

Nysus: [Giggles]

---

Man's Voice: "Lights out, cadets!"

Ja's Voice: "Shh-- quiet, Hercules. You'll wake everybody up. Did you put the money back?"

Hercules: "Yeah. Thanks for the loan, Jason. I hid it at Kora's and when she finds it, she'll just think that she misplaced it."

Jason: "Right, right-- they can't convict Iolaus if no money's missing."

Hercules: "Yeah."

---

Nysus: "Too, too clever. He's got a mind like his dear old dad. He wouldn't hide it in an obvious place-- oh, no! All right, ya little half-god-- where'd'ya hide it? I'm losing my patience!"

Hercules: "The money's not here, Nysus."

Nysus: "Ohhh."

Hercules: "Why'd you frame Iolaus? Why did you send me to the phoenix cave to get the chalice? Jason'll be here any minute with the constable, so you better confess now!"

Nysus: "Confess? [Laughing] Boring! Life should have a little... mystery, don't you think? Uh-uh-uh-- don't touch."

---

Hercules: "Who are you? You're a god, aren't you?"

Nysus: "Ah, well, that's the story of my life: nobody knows me. But Zeus's big bouncing baby boy is gonna put me in the big leagues. I destroy Hercules, and everybody'll know the name of-"

Strife [Morphing into usual appearance: "Strife!"

[Fight]

Strife: "Oh, you're gettin' higher... okay. How's the weather up there?! Okay-ay. Whoo-hoo! Oh, extreme. How 'bout we set a few ground rules? First one to touch the ground... loses. Can't say I'm not fair." [Laughs]

Hercules: "Come on! That all you got?! You fight worse than you dress. If you wanna be a real god, you have to do better than that."

Strife: "Hee-hee! Whoo!"

Jason: "Tarsus!"

Hercules: "Strife? Uh! Ow!"

Strife: "That's too bad, Hercules. You know, you really shouldn't mess with real gods. [Sing-songy] Somebody might get hur-urt."

Iolaus: "Hercules! Relative of yours?"

Hercules: "Yeah, I think so. Listen, um, I'm sorry about getting you guys in to all this mess."

Iolaus: "Mess? What mess?"

Jason: "We don't mind being chased by giant birds. We just wanna know why."

Hercules: "Okay. It's a deal."

Kora: "What's going on?! Hey! Who's gonna pay for this?!"

Jason: "Well, we didn't make the mess."

Iolaus: "But, if ya need a hand-"

Jason: "-I'd be happy to help you."

Iolaus: "Oh, well, I can probably do it, Jase. It's Okay. I don't mind."

Jason [Interrupting]: "I-- I just offered."

Iolaus: "Yeah, I know. I know, but, you know, you probably got things to do."

Jason: "No, I don't. I offered first."

Iolaus: "No, really, I don't mind."

Jason: "I could probably help carry the heavy things. I offered first."

Iolaus: "Oh, really?"

Jason: "Did you hear me?"

---

Jason: "Think about it, Hercules. You thumped a god."

Hercules: "Ah, it wasn't a very big god."

Jason: "I bet all of Olympus knows about it by morning."

Hercules: "You think so?"

Jason: "Yeah, guarantee it. So what are you gonna do with Hera's chalice?"

Hercules: "Zeus and Hera's chalice."

Jason: "Okay, Zeus and Hera's chalice."

Hercules: "I'm taking it to my dad."

---

[The End]